Summertime Survival Tips
Posted on July 12, 2011 by FoBaM-Jamie
We’re tickled to once again have guest writer Renee DeLuca Deans here to tweak our funny bone with her own sense of wry and witty mama humor. Today’s treat is her list of eight summertime survival tips. Forget applying sunscreen or hydrating – these tips come compliments of the experienced mom who knows the truth about how to get through summer unscathed. We hope you laugh as much as we did! Enjoy!
It’s finally here, another glorious summer! Living in Massachusetts I spend three quarters of the year waiting for this very season yet somehow, when it finally arrives, it rolls in equal parts amazing and ‘isn’t it time for you guys to go bed yet?’ This time, like a good boy scout with lady parts, I will face this mixed bag of a season prepared and I suggest you do the same. Here are my survival tips for a successful summer vacation:
Get Your Tan On. Everyone knows a sleepy kid means an easy bedtime so run those little suckers ragged. Hit the beach, the pool, the slip and slide, go pick some blueberries, play catch, take the dogs for a walk, splash in puddles, build a fort, blow dandelions on your neighbors lawn…just do it all outside. By 7pm they’ll be begging you to put them to bed and oh look, your arms look thinner with a tan. Double bonus.
Play Local. A vacation with young children really is just an expensive change of scenery so stick with whatever’s within sane driving distance. Save yourself the overpriced airfare, the oh-so-believable “Don’t make me turn this plane around!” and the trying to pretend that’s the first time your son has ever yelled, “CAN YOU SEE MY BUTT?” while walking through the full body scanner. Spend some of that money you save on Photoshop and insert your cute little kids in front of the Grand Canyon and then be all mock-offended that they don’t even remember going. “See, this is why we’re not going anywhere this year. You don’t even remember us taking you to one of our nation’s most treasured National Parks.” You can thank me later.
Don’t Forget Bath Time. Chlorine + water = bath, right? It’s summer vacation, if you can remember the last time your kids set foot in an actual bathtub, you’re going about things the wrong way. I trust the chemicals I throw in my pool to kill algae and whatever that brown funk is, I can certainly trust them to kill some kid germs as well. Plus, they cost a whole boatload more than Johnson & Johnson and everyone knows that the more expensive something is, the better it works. Their hair got wet several times, which means bath time was successfully completed. You may put them to bed now.
Lie, With Purpose. My two oldest boys are six and five and can’t read very well yet. Their teachers sent home several pages of summer activities for them to complete before school starts back up. How will they know if I add a few of my own? Sandwiched in between summer reading and ‘count all the forks in your house’ they might just find ‘practice mopping the floor’ or ‘rub mom’s feet’ or ‘be nice to your brother for a whole day. No really, a whole day’. Clearly, they had really smart teachers who thought to include such things, who are we to argue?
Create A Count Down Calendar. Kids get chocolate advent calendars at Christmas, we should get calendars for summer vacation filled with our own little rewards. 81 days left of summer vacation? You just earned yourself a massage. 45 more days until the big yellow bus pulls up in front of your house? Looks like Dad just “volunteered” to watch the kids while you get your nails done. I envision opening days with a babysitter, a play date with parents I like, a quiet place to read a book and some shopping money. See, summer just keeps getting better!
Practice Believable Deniability. Warm weather always signals the start of the many times I will have to pretend my kids belong to someone else. Usually we’re at the playground and usually it involves public urination. When a mom I just met came running up to report that two boys were peeing onto to the sidewalk I quickly gave her my best, “Wow, that’s awful. Their parents should be ashamed” and she totally bought it. Until those same two boys ran up and asked me to help them zip their pants because they had just peed on the sidewalk. And they called me mom. This year we plan to get our routine buttoned down a little tighter.
Apply Your SPF Daily. Wine is my personal Sanity Protection Factor and my steadfast rule is to never run out. If my well do runneth dry, I’m the mom you see other people shaking their heads at as I meander the aisles at Liquor World with three boys in Super Mario pajamas. Don’t judge, I guarantee one of them just went all WWE on the dog while the other one smeared himself with a secret recipe of Poison Ivy and Windex all while I put the baby down for a nap. It’s mental sunblock. Reapply as necessary.
Most of all, Enjoy It. Some day when I’m much older, sipping a lemonade and Geritol spritzer on my front porch, I know I’ll look back at this time and I’ll miss it. My days may be quieter and my house may be cleaner, but neither will be filled with the nonstop craziness of a young family, a geriatric dog, and an insane puppy. I’ll miss those little suntanned bodies and sweaty heads that don’t yet smell bad. I’ll miss squirt gun fights gone wrong and popsicle-stained hands and the victorious screeching of a boy that finally learned how to swim in the deep end. I’ll see parents with young children who look like they’d give their left arm for a full night’s sleep and I’ll tell them that these are the good days and they’ll think my clichéd sentiment and I are crazy. The nonstop chorus of ‘I’m bored” and “I hate my brother” will have long-since faded and I know what I’ll remember the most is, “Thanks mom, that was the best day ever.”
Happy summer to you!
Renee is a married, full-time mother of three animated boys and two almost-as-animated dogs. Most days she can be found pounding coffee, playing cars, dressing up as the Super Mario Brothers and watching the world through her three boys’ eyes. Renee is a passionate cook who spends almost as much time finding new recipes as she does figuring out ways to convince her kids to eat them.
Image Credit: Sean Ganann
The Gardener’s Guide to Raising Happy, Healthy Kids
Posted on April 12, 2011 by FoBaM-Jamie
With spring now fully upon us in the northeast, small green things are finally poking up through the earth. Only weeks ago, our world was still shrouded in the remnants of winter’s wrath; but now the neighborhood lawns are covered in blankets of brilliantly blue Siberian Squill – a hardy, little flower that transforms even the dullest yard into a faerie wonderland.
Such is the magic of flowers. The have the ability to brighten any space, whether they have been nurtured in a luxurious greenhouse or struggled to emerge through a crack in the sidewalk. They inspire us to pause in our daily round and drink in the miraculous beauty that is around us. The first flowers of spring – crocus, tulips, snowdrops, and daffodils – these are also harbingers of hope, of light after the darkness.
Children are like that, too.
And so, though I am hardly a master gardener, I could not help but see the similarities between what it takes to raise strong and thriving plants and what it takes to raise happy, healthy children. What they need from us – as gardeners or parents – is actually quite similar.
Create the right environment
To start with, you need to create a space that is nurturing. You must prepare the soil – loosening it to let it breathe, pulling out any rocks, tilling it through with nutrient-rich food so that it will provide all the sustenance young things need.
Encourage strong roots
More important than what grows above the ground, is what grows beneath. Making sure that the roots run deep and wide will give young seedlings the foundation they need to stand tall and firm in later years.
Give all things in moderation
Water, sunshine, and fertilizers are all important to growth, but can be harmful if given in excess. Do not over-indulge your charges. Nourish them generously, but avoid a heavy hand.
Provide the right supports
Some growing things need a little extra support as they climb towards the sun and grow into themselves. Know what kind of support you need to provide – a stake, lattice, or a single thread. Tailor the support to the need and know when it is time to let the youngster grow on its own.
Keep weeds to a minimum
Aggressive and invasive weeds can choke out other living things, clutching at their roots, draining the soil of life-giving richness, blocking out the sun. Make sure to keep weeds in check – always digging them out earlier rather than later. Emerging weeds are much easier to remove than mature ones.
Talk and listen
The most beautiful flowers are the ones who have been nurtured not only with sun and rain, but with the gift of conversation. Listen to growing things and offer words of encouragement and support. Do not judge their progress, but tell them you believe in them. Whisper sweet nothings every day.
Be patient
Patience is more than a virtue for a gardener. It is a way of life. Everything blooms in its own time. Don’t rush the process. Don’t fret if it takes longer than you expected. Just watch quietly and continue to offer your love and support. One day, you will wake to find a surprise that will be more beautiful for all the waiting.
Value hardiness
Though part of you may want to keep your young seedlings under a glass dome like Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s little prince, do not. The best gift you can give is the gift of hardiness – of being able to survive and thrive on their own, even when the environment is not perfect, even when they may have to wait a long while for sunshine and water, even when they don’t have the benefit of your kind words.
Look beyond the names and pedigree to see the beauty of the individual
All flowers are beautiful, but each is uniquely so. Treasure each blossom for its own perfection. Do not get caught in the trap of measuring against a standard. Though other blossoms may be bigger, brighter, or sweeter, even the tiniest, most humble flower has a special magic – the magic to make us stop in our tracks so that we can enjoy the fragrance and brilliance of this small, perfect piece of the universe.
Image Credit: Kelly Cookson
Mommy Speed Bumps (and a book giveaway)
Posted on February 3, 2011 by FoBaM-Jamie
Today’s guest post was provided by the two-mom team behind a great little book called Food for Thoughtful Parenting. Nina and Tara have created a book of 12 must-have lists for new parents and young families. It’s full of bite-sized pieces of parenting wisdom that are full of compassion and good humor. In this post, they share their advice for getting over the “speed bumps” that are part of every mom’s daily journey. Check out the bottom of the post for a chance to win a copy of their book.
He doesn’t want to put on his jacket. It’s cold. And you’re in a hurry. She wants to ride the escalator at the mall. But you’re so close to finishing your errands and you have to get home to make dinner. You have to finish your proposal by 5. It’s 4:15 and distraction and snacks are no longer working. There’s a toddler at your feet, again!
As parents, our days are filled with these “bumps in the road,” little power struggles as our children’s desires and our adult reason (and practical needs) collide. At every bump there are choices we make: do we threaten? Yell? Try to negotiate? Give up and let them go out without a jacket?
To be better prepared to face these inevitable “bumps,” we offer up some strategies that help us get through with both kid and parent feeling more satisfied on the other side.
Smoothing the Bumps
1. Surrender 15 minutes
2. “Puppetshow it!”
3. Say “yes” when you can
1. Surrender 15 minutes. Balancing children’s demands and a parent’s desire to get things done is one of the hallmark struggles of having young kids. Some days it feels like you can’t even use the toilet in peace, let alone take a shower or return a phone call. When tensions mount, try the unexpected. Give in. Drop everything and surrender 15 minutes and do whatever your child wants. Sit and read, build with blocks, let them sit on your lap and type letters on the keyboard. Lavish them with love and attention. These moments when children seem particularly needy are when they feel us, their parents, pulling away into our own worlds. Show them that we’re still here for them in the most over-the-top way and then they may wander off contented and buoyed by renewed connection.
2. “Puppetshow it!” That’s the phrase my son made up to ask me to animate objects to make whatever we were doing a little more palatable. When you want to add some fun to the more routine parts of the day, we say “puppetshow it!” Almost anything can have a puppet alter-ego. The washcloth can “eat” the breakfast mess off your child’s face while it comments on the morning’s offerings in a silly voice: “Mmmm eggs! And Ummm JAM! And what is this way over here? Did you eat something with your ear?!” Or have a favorite doll administer the medicine your child may be reluctant to take. A useful and playful addition to any day with kids!
3. Say “yes” when you can. It can be dismaying how frequently the knee-jerk response to children’s desires is “no.” If you find yourself spending too much time in the “no” place, try filtering kids’ requests with “can I say yes here?” Sure, we’re all nagged by the fear that this kind of general indulgence might lead to bad habits and spoiled kids, but we’ve found that in this frame our kids actually hear the “nos” better, since they are less frequent and more meaningful.
During chaotic days filled with errands and crowds and waiting, it’s astonishing how a little “yes” in an unexpected place (“wow … Mom usually doesn’t let me take a lollipop…”) can help get through a rough spot or bank some good will for later.
The above tips are from our new book, food for thoughtful parenting, a collection of best moves and modern mantras for helping us be the parents we want to be more of the time.
Want more? (They’re not all about getting through tough spots!) Share one of your go-to tactics in the comments below and you’ll be entered to win one of three copies of the book we’ll give away.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
A RIDDLE: What happens when Nina, a high-energy, hockey-playing, food-loving, Steelers-rooting woman with stints in strategy consulting, biotech drug development and a dotcom start-up and Tara, a creative, calm, road-running, graphics’ designer with stints in curriculum development and Asian art museums meet during the throes of parenting at a Watertown, MA preschool?
THE ANSWER: They harness their different life experiences and contrasting personalities and write a book about parenting! Food for Thoughtful Parenting is an outstanding little book of modern mantras for happier parenting.
Image Credit: Andrew Rivett
Summertime Dining – Bring it on!
Posted on July 22, 2009 by FoBaM-Jamie
It’s the height of summer in my corner of the world and that means a transition to easy-breezy meals served al fresco.
Since I don’t cook (my repertoire includes things like Boboli pizzas, grilled cheese, chicken fingers, and pancakes), I love this season of laid back dinner options. I’m thrilled when something that’s usually considered a snack – chicken and cheese slices on crackers, for instance – suddenly becomes a meal … just add some fresh fruit, a glass of lemonade, and maybe a bit of sponge cake for dessert.
Being so challenged in the kitchen, I’d love to know what secret summertime weapons other moms have in reserve for keeping dinnertime fun, healthy, and easy (emphasis on easy). The truth is, I’d much rather be spending time blowing bubbles in the backyard than slaving over a hot stove. Summer is supposed to be a time to kick back and reconnect with the kids.
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Do you have any special recipes that get you out of the kitchen and back to the beach or the backyard before you can say “peanut butter and jelly”? Won’t you tip off those of us with less culinary imagination?
