Of small creatures with big spirits

Posted on May 8, 2012 by FoBaM-Jamie

This past winter, I came home from a poultry show with a day old chick who had deformed feet. Webbed toes in a chick is a genetic abnormality that you don’t want perpetuated in a flock. As this little chick was a rare breed, no one would have wanted to keep it.

Put that on top of the fact that her feet were so gnarled and curled that as she grew larger, there was no way she would be able to hold up her body weight and it was pretty clear that the best thing to do would to have been to put her down.

But, as I saw this incredibly small little ball of fluff just trying to make do with what she was given in life, I made the decision to try and help her.

We are not new to orthopedic problems in our house. When I was young, I was hit by a car while on a bike. The damage, which only became more apparent as I tried to continue in high school and college sports, required over twenty-two operations throughout my life to fix. I had to relearn how to walk and have adjusted to living life with a certain amount of daily nagging pain.

The philosophy in our house is to fight on and power through. If you want something bad enough and work hard enough, you’ll usually get what you want.

And then there was my teen son who as a result of undiagnosed Lyme Disease had arthritis severe enough to curl his fingers and shuffle his steps. It was inconceivable that he would ever think I’d give up either on him or on a baby chick who through no fault of her own, started off – literally – on the wrong foot. After pleading with the breeder to give me the chick, I took her home and another son and I performed the delicate surgery needed to release her toes.

Charlie (named after the Chocolate Factory because her eggs will be a dark brown making them look much like chocolate eggs) not only survived the surgery, she has thrived. She has lived in our house since January and has become a mascot of sorts for our family – “the little chicken that could.” Although she is certainly old enough at this point to join the others in our backyard flock, we’ve all become rather accustomed to having a chicken in our house.

Charlie makes us laugh. She has a distinct personality and knows what she wants. She watches TV with the kids, sleeps with our Maltese dog, and nests in a box near my writing desk – keeping me company while I work. It’s not that unusual to hear someone off in another room talking to Charlie – “Who’s a good girl?”

I suppose at some point, our little house chicken is going to have to transition out to the hen house (having a chicken in the house means constantly cleaning up after her) but for now we accept her in our home as a valued member of our flock – a constant reminder to us all that if we work hard, we can overcome.

Wendy Thomas is an award winning journalist, columnist, and blogger who believes that taking challenges in life will always lead to goodness. She is the mother of 6 funny and creative kids and it is her goal to teach them through stories and lessons. Wendy’s current project involves writing about her family’s experiences with chickens (yes, chickens).

Motherhood is in the details

Posted on May 1, 2012 by FoBaM-Jamie

Motherhood is a big job. We get that. The responsibility is huge – the overall task sometimes pretty damn overwhelming. But, when you get right down to it, motherhood is in the details. It’s in those fleeting moments that sneak up on us when we least expect them. It’s in the time we manage to carve out to be fully tuned into our families, without any distractions. It’s in the small gestures and quiet emotions that are the underlying bedrock of any relationship.

We all love to do Big Things for our children – the amazing trip to Disney World, that extra special birthday present, a tree house, a new puppy. Those are all wonderful gifts to be able to give and they create special memories, but they are not the things that make motherhood magical. They are not what give mom her mystique. It’s all the little things we do that – combined – make us the moms we are.

And our children respond most deeply to those small things.

I’ve done my share of Big Things with my daughter, but I don’t think they’ll ever add up to match the legacy of little things we’ve done for each other and with each other. Our trip to Disney World was amazing, but it can’t hold a candle to eight plus years of nightly bedtime stories and snuggles. The tree house my beau and I built her is a one-of-a-kind masterpiece, but it won’t ever be as important as the time we share at breakfast each morning. The fancy earrings I bought her were a big hit, but not as big a hit as the fact that I know the names of her Club Penguin puffles.

It doesn’t matter as much what we give our children, as how we make them feel. The notes I put in my daughter’s camp lunch box, the time I take to go on walks with her, the way I listen to what she has to say, the fact that I tell her the truth … these are the things that make her feel loved, cherished, valued, respected. These are the things that matter most.

And she returns those feelings to me, and I to her, and around and around it goes.

She picks me a backyard bouquet and I place it with care in a vase on the kitchen windowsill. I make her a handmade Valentine, and she makes me a piece of art signed “For mom. I love you. You are cool.” She tells me her dreams and I tell her mine. I teach her how to keep a journal and she teaches me how to rap. Back and forth these exchanges of small gifts from the heart go – making our bond stronger and deeper than any trip to Disney World ever could. It’s because of these small kindnesses and expressions of trust and affection that we are the kind of mother and daughter who sing duets at bath time, have tickle fests on Sunday mornings, and still – though she is eight-and-a-half and verging on “grown up” – hold hands on our walks and snuggle under a single blanket on movie nights. Those special moments are both a benefit of and an element of the attention we pay to each other’s details – the little things we know make the other person feel happy and loved.

Motherhood truly is in the details. What small things do you do to let your children know they are special and cherished?

Eco-friendly tees by the Green Egg

Posted on April 14, 2012 by FoBaM-Jamie

At FOBAM, we’re fans of creative “mom-trepreneurs” who not only have great products, but also manage to to make a positive impact by giving back.  Tracey Davidow, a mom of two in Hamilton, MA is doing just that. 

GIVEAWAY:  Leave a comment below (by midnight EST Tuesday, 4/17/12)  to enter to win one of these adorable gift bags courtesy of the Green Egg.

The Green Egg represents a simple, creative, and thoughtful approach to life that is shared through a stylish yet fun line of hand-stitched tees for children.

Our products are made by hand so no two shirts are exactly the same.  We have an always-growing collection of cute and clever designs to choose from and each tee is 100% cotton and made in the USA.  Our felt appliqués are environmentally responsible – made from 100% post-consumer plastic.

We are very proud to be partnered with the Haiti Projects. This fair trade, non-profit sewing and knitting cooperative does amazing work to empower women in rural Haiti so they can lift themselves – and their families – out of poverty. It’s our goal at The Green Egg to provide as much work as we can to these women artisans. We also provide financial support: $1 for each tee that is stitched in the USA goes to the Haiti Projects.

We like to say that each tee is made with a hug and a stitch with the hopes that you can feel good about your purchase and that the children wearing them will find joy in our creations.

What was your inspiration for The Green Egg?

After I had my son, Charlie, I became frustrated that I couldn’t find any good boys clothes.  Soon after, I found myself on forced bed rest during the last few months of my second pregnancy with my daughter Penny.  Having a background in retail  (I had just sold my children’s shop Mulberry Road in Boston), and a love for all that is creative, I was on the lookout for a new project to keep me occupied. A friend and I started stitching fun, stylish tees for our boys. It was a few years later when my husband and I decided to go back into retail. The Green Egg shop was “hatched” in Manchester-by-the-Sea where we opened our first eco-friendly store full of wonderful products for baby and home. We offered a great selection of unique gifts and fun stylish children’s clothing and soon added my own line of hand-stitched tees to the mix.  I was delighted when the tees that ended up being the biggest seller, basically carrying the store!  Soon, I saw my tees on kids all around town.  Sharing an eco-friendly mission with my customers had always been important to me, and I suddenly realized that the tees had become the symbol of that mission.   I made the tees my focus, moving from the store and basing my business out of a studio close to my home in Hamilton.  I started traveling to gift and retail shows across the country to present the tees to a wider audience…. and to my great relief they like them and the orders started coming in!

What is the Haiti Projects?

The Haiti Projects is a fair trade, non profit, sewing and knitting cooperative located in Fond des Blans, Haiti – a poor mountainous area 75 miles southwest of Port au Prince.  Most of the residents of Fond desBlancs live with their impoverished children on less than one dollar day.  The Haiti Projects was founded in 1995 and registered in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.   Their mission is to provide work and a stable income for women so they can lift themselves – and their families – out of poverty.

How did you connect with the Haiti Project?

I first started supporting the Haiti Projects in my store by selling their products. Later, I packaged their hand-knit baby hats in The Green Egg gift baskets.  I have believed in the cooperative’s mission from day one.  After the devastating earthquake in Haiti in January 2010, I attended an event to bring greater awareness about Haiti Projects’ rapid expansion in response to the desperate needs of the country.  I realized then that I wanted to do more than just write a check – I wanted to help give these women their livelihood back so they could rebuild their lives and communities.  A few weeks later, The Green Egg received a serendipitous order from a new retailer. The order was much larger than we had ever produced ourselves, so I turned to the Haiti Project to see if we could work together.   A month later The Green Egg sent a sample run to Haiti and the rest is history.  The process continues to evolve and become more efficient and we’re thrilled to be sending more and more work to the women of Haiti.

Right now, The Green Egg is preparing over 6,000 children’s tee shirts to be shipped out April 20th the Haiti Projects.   My home in Hamilton, Massachusetts is the current base for this operation.  Our assembly line of tee shirts and colorful cut-out animals and trucks dominates our dining room. There are boxes piled high everywhere between the kids’ toys in the living room.  I have to admit – I never thought, when I started this little  hand stitched line of eco-friendly tees in 2008, that I would be enlisting the help of women 1,800 miles away, but now I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Why is the partnership with the Haitian women so important to you?

I am in a position, not only to make a life for my family doing something I love but also to give the same opportunity to these other mothers.  The work that we provide to these women – 1,800 miles away – dramatically improves the quality of their lives and communities.

It is The Green Egg’s goal to provide as much work as possible, bringing an income to the women artisans.  The more tees we sell, the more the Haitian women are able to earn.  To us, each tee sold represents another bit of good that we are doing in the world.  I am committed to doing as much as I can to help these women help themselves.

How do you balance work and family?

I am not sure if a true work–family balance exists.  I strive to find it but being a mother of two children – Charlie, 7 years old, and Penny who is six – and in the middle of such an intensive start-up … it can be difficult.  But, I must admit I am fortunate in that The Green Egg is a family effort. My husband Steve is my partner so we are able to share many of the daily responsibilities.  The main mantra we live by is “always make time for the kids and their needs.”  They come first no matter what.  We work hard on The Green Egg when the kids are in school, but once they get home at least one of us gives the kids full attention. When they go to sleep, we go back to work.  So basically, I guess I find balance by sacrificing sleep. There’s no question this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but if we can make this work long-term, it will all be worth it.

Where can people find your product?

Green Egg tees can be found in over 150 select children’s stores including Giggle stores nationwide, ABC Home and Carpet in New York City and also online at www.thegreeneggshop.com

What else are you involved with outside of work?

Beyond The Green Egg, I am also very committed to my children’s local elementary school where I serve on the Cultural Enrichment Programming Committee.   We work hard to bring the school wonderfully engaging programs that help support the learning that is going on in the classroom.   I also  love to do anything outdoors as a family, especially in the winter months. From ice -skating to building snow forts or the occasional day skiing with the kids – that is heaven to me!   Art is clearly a big part of my life, too.  Art books fill my home and serve as inspirations for new ideas. I am always looking for ways to share this passion with my children – by visiting museums, drawing together, or helping them create masterpieces out of scraps of fabric from my studio.  If it is creative and crafty – I’m a fan!

Tracey and her kids, Charlie and Penny

What moms do (according to my 8 yr-old daughter)

Posted on April 10, 2012 by FoBaM-Jamie

Today’s guest post comes from a very special, first-time author: my eight year-old daughter, Meghan. Having spent much of the holiday weekend and all of Monday toiling in what my friend and colleague likes to call the “word mines,” I was a little short on inspiration when I sat down to write something for all you lovely moms. I decided to call in the reinforcements by asking my daughter to collaborate with me on a post about What moms do. When my daughter asked if she could type, I had the brilliant idea to let her write the post herself. (Let’s not call this child labor, let’s call it bring-your-daughter-to-work-day-and-(since she’s here)-let-her-do-some-work (because that’s all very educational and such). I must say that I was very impressed with the results (said the proud mom with a slight catch in her throat). We hope you enjoy it and that you’ll share your own kids’ answers to some of these questions. 

What  moms do (according to my daughter, Meghan) … all written by Meghan K W

• My mom TALKS AND TALKS AND TALKS!
• And she also works her ass of all day long. (Editor’s note: I told her she could say that only if it meant I was working my donkey off. We don’t actually have a donkey, but that’s okay … we’re going with it.)
• If my mom won the lottery she would DANCE AND DANCE AND SCREAM!
• I think all moms are hard working! (Editor’s note: I swear, I didn’t tell her to write that.)
• If moms could take over the world it would probably be a little scary as well as cool. (Editor’s note: Really – she came up with this all on her own.)

At this point, my budding author started to lose interest in her writing career and had – while I was running through the shower – strayed from her assignment into the ever-alluring land of Club Penguin. I coaxed her back to the task at hand by offering some prompts:

• When I’m sick, my mom treats me with care.
• When she’s sad, my mom tries not to cry.
• When she’s tired, my mom … puts on her pjs and puts her head down on her desk.
• When she’s mad, my mom …I don’t really remember because it was that long ago
• When she’s being silly, my mom … she laughs.
• When she gets a day off, my mom … she plays with me J “Yay”!
• After I go to bed, my mom … WORKS – boring :/
• When I’m sad, my mom …TELLS ME to stop crying and makes me feel better
• When I ask for a hamster, my mom … says “NO!”
• When my mom wants to look extra pretty, she … asks her INCREDIBLY fashionable daughter (me) for advice on what to wear
• My mom’s mom’s name is JANNIE. She is a writer just like me and my mom. It is just a generation

Meghan Wallace is a smart, savvy, and stylish second grader who loves dogs, cats, birds, fish, lizards, snakes, horses, hamsters … well, all animals really … and thinks she might grow up to be a dog walker, a famous singer, or maybe an FBI agent. (She’s the one on the right … with the better smile.)

8 Truths about being mom

Posted on March 27, 2012 by FoBaM-Jamie

No matter whose mom you are, no matter where you live, no matter whether you did breast or bottle, co-sleeping or crying it out, disposable or cloth there are some truths about being mom that are universal. Each of us in on a unique journey, but some things are always and forever the same …

Just when you think you’ve got it figured out – the game changes.

Parenting is not something you can master. Kids change every day. The minute you think you’ve got the perfect solution, they switch things up and leave you scratching your head and wondering what the heck happened. Get used to it. Learn to adapt. Flexibility is your friend.

Your decision-making process has extra steps.

Once upon a time, you could decide what to have for lunch, where to go on vacation, or whether to take that promotion without considering anyone’s needs except your own. Moms don’t have that luxury. As a mom, we run every decision through our internal “kid filter” to see how it will impact our children.

Time is fluid – slowing down and speeding up completely irrational ways. 

Welcome to “mommy time.” Scientists say that, although we perceive it that way, time is not linear. I admit I’m not completely clear on what they mean, but I do know that my perceptions of time changed dramatically once I became a mom. Minutes can seem like hours, and years can seem like days. It’s enough to make your head spin.

You’re never done. 

Don’t try to be. There is simply too much to do, to know, to be. The list of things you must do, should do, and want to do is endless. Motherhood is the ultimate “fully integrated” job. There is no clock to punch and no retirement date on the horizon. It’s cradle to grave – their cradle to your grave.

You have days when you feel like a complete failure. 

Expect them. Don’t waste too much time worrying about them. See the first truth and remind yourself that “this too shall pass.” We all screw up. We all do and say things we wish we hadn’t. But, life goes on and the kids still love us.

You have less time to think and so much more to think about. 

The amount of brain space needed to accommodate all the “mommy stuff” is astounding. Perhaps this is why we sometimes forget seemingly basic information like where we parked the car, our best friend’s phone number, or the dog’s name. It’s okay. Take one thing at a time and it’ll all be all right. Focus on the important stuff and let the rest slide. It’ll come back to you … eventually.

They won’t say thank you until much (much!) later.

Children don’t truly appreciate everything a mom does until they become parents themselves. I know I didn’t. How could I? I had no frame of reference – no first-hand experience. Now that I’m someone’s mom, I get it. Thanks, mom. Really.

You feel life much more deeply. 

Motherhood amplifies our emotions. We experience life more fully and feel everything more deeply. We cry more, but we laugh more too. Becoming a mom can feel like having a veil lifted. Suddenly, the world is revealed to you in all its insanity and beauty and terror and love. It can be scary, but motherhood also brings with it courage and conviction – we get everything we need to handle the new adventure.

Yep. Motherhood is a crazy ride, but it’s comforting to know that some things will never change. It’s good to know that every other mother out there knows what we’re talking about. We are never alone. Thank goodness!

What other universal truths can you add?