Maisy has always been a favorite at our house. Though my daughter is, in her opinion, too grown up for Maisy now (she is in the second grade, you know), we still read some of our Maisy favorites at bedtime … just for old time’s sake. Maisy and her friends are cheerful without being saccharine. The bright colors and bold lines are especially appealing to the younger set, offering lots of contrast and vibrancy. For kids old enough to follow a storyline, the adventures of Maisy and her friends are entertaining and comforting.

The soft, plush edition of this book makes it a literal snuggle book – the outside cover is a fuzzy, fleece material that’s both printed and embroidered, giving it some great texture for baby’s fingers to explore. The inside pages are a durable material around a soft stuffing, making the whole book soft and squishy and very inviting. The binding on the cover is a smooth, blue satin, like the edging on many favorite baby blankets. The book comes packaged in a gift-worthy striped box with a peek-a-book window that will probably keep your little one entertained for almost as long as the book.

If you think your little one would enjoy a copy of this Maisy’s Snuggle Book, you may be in luck. Our friends at Candlewick Press have offered to give away two copies.

For a chance to win one of the free copies, simply leave a comment below sharing your thoughts about Maisy or bedtime or really young readers. All comments must be in by midnight EST, this Sunday, the 18th and include a valid email address. Please note that the comment must be on the blog, not on our Facebook fan page to be eligible to win. If you’re one of our randomly selected winners, we’ll be in touch by email to get all your shipping details so the nice folks at Candlewick can send out your goodies.

Good luck, happy reading, and be sure to stop by and “Like”Candlewick’s Facebook Page.

Today’s guest post comes from the delightful and talented Beth Bader. She is, among other things, the co-author of a great new cookbook called

When it comes to picky eating, my kiddo has been pretty normal. I’ve realized this as we have other people’s kids at our table. There have been one or two unforgettable moments when these children have taken one look at fresh berries, meatballs and pasta and screamed at me, “I hate this! I’m not going to eat this!” before even taking a bite. Or, refused to eat anything but plain noodles and meat, not touching one another on the plate.

Worst of all, there was the heart-wrenching moment of parents admitting that, on a scale of one to ten, the best any meal at their table has ever been is a two.

I try to look at these moments as learning opportunities. Are there things I did right or am I just lucky? Both? I must not be the brightest crayon in the box because I tend to have a lot of these “learning moments.” To quote a Wally Lamb book, however, “This much, at least, I’ve figured out. I know this much is true.”

Sometimes, all the tips in the world won’t make it easy.

There are kids who have real eating issues, in rare cases requiring a feeding therapist. Conditions like ADHD and autism can add to eating challenges. Count your blessings if your kid is just in the normal range of picky. You can solve this.

Your best picky eating advice will come from your child herself.

I let my kiddo teach me how to best avoid food fights. Barely crawling, she showed an adventurous streak, a boundless love of play and a willingness to put anything — from drinking water off a manhole cover to licking a gas station bathroom door — in her mouth. By toddler years, she could throw a meltdown that could go three hours plus. At preschool graduation, she was dubbed “Future Lawyer” partly for her analytical mind and mostly for her debate skills.

I used each of these personality “quirks” in our approach to food. I made first foods a fun adventure by arming both the kiddo and I with spoons. She was allowed to feed me, too, making it a shared experience instead of Mommy shoving food at the kid. It’s really, really hard to laugh and giggle while gagging on pureed baby food, but a mother’s love can conquer all.

As my child aged into the “I do it!” control years, she became my constant kitchen companion. We explored smelling spices, choosing vegetables at the market, tasting and preparing things together. It gave her an outlet for her very strong control need. It made a massive mess in my kitchen, but extra dishes are easier than table wars hands down.

With her newfound verbal skills and a brain that constantly, constantly churns, my “future lawyer” enjoys reading cookbooks with me, finding foods she would like to try, then tasting and evaluating them as a family. It’s not unusual for me to ask, “I think this needs more vinegar, what do you think?” Or, “this is not the best way I like carrots, either, what recipe do you like best?”

I’d like to think I had some small role in how much easier my child can be than others when it comes to food. (Note: that’s only about food!) Truth is, all I did was observe and let her be my guide. You know your child best. You will find your happy path together. Let the fun — really, FUN — begin.

There are a few universal truths that can help you.

• Food issues can be with color, texture and taste, and quite often more about control than food. Try different approaches with an open mind to solve the issue without stress.
• It can take up to fifteen exposures to a new food before a child will like or even try it. Fifteen! Don’t give up too soon.
• Stack the odds in your favor by serving the new food alongside proven favorites. You won’t have to worry if your child is leaving the table hungry.
• Enjoy your food. Your healthy food. The number one predictor of the number of fruits and vegetables your child eats is how many you eat yourself!
• Your food critic writes in crayon. Don’t take his criticism of your efforts personally.
• Now, enjoy your dinner. Really. Enjoy.

Finally, sometimes there is no win — in the short term.

There will be bad days. There will be days when your child hates food he loved just yesterday. There will be painful dinners just like there are difficult days in general. Raising a healthy eater is a long process just like raising your kid on the whole. Breathe. Be kind to yourself. You’ll make it.

GIVEAWAY: If you’d like to make things easier for you on those challenging days, I really do recommend Beth’s book The Cleaner Plate Club. Beth, along with co-author Ali Benjamin, has done an amazing job of creating a cookbook that both moms and kids can enjoy and learn from. I’m willing to bet you’ll use this book not only as a cookbook, but as a general guide to food and source of inspiration when you’re wandering around in a daze wondering what the heck is for dinner. Beth has graciously agreed to give away three copies to three random Fans of Being a Mom winners. To enter, just leave a comment below before midnight EST this Friday (December 16th) telling us your best picky eater story. If you’re one of our randomly selected winners, we’ll be in touch by email to get all your shipping details so Beth can send out your book and you can get cookin’.

About the author: Co-author of The Cleaner Plate Club: Recipes and Advice for Getting Real Kids to Love Real Food. Beth Bader has been a photojournalist, writer, and shark wrangler. As much activist as cook, she is, most of all, a mom determined to make the world a better place for her child, one meal at a time. She is a food blogger at Expatriate’s Kitchen expatriateskitchen.blogspot.com and contributes to EatLocalChallenge.com and EatDrinkBetter.com.

Image Credit: mrgreen09

Whatever our reasons, we are board book junkies and we’re not ashamed to admit it. Even though our own children have outgrown these durable reads, we still fall for them every time. Today, we’ve got two new Candlewick titles to share with you: I like toys and I like vegetables. These are board books with a slight twist. In addition to all the usual goodness, they feature touch-and-feel details that will have tiny fingers roaming the pages while bright eyes are taking in the bright pictures.

In I like vegetables, curious kids learn not only about produce, but about opposites like above and below, inside and outside, and so forth. Not only that, but you can start getting your kids excited about eating carrots, corn, and peas. (It’s never too early to start, right?)

In I like toys, the focus is on shapes. As little fingers touch different textures in the images, mommy can explain about circles, squares, triangles, and rectangles. Each spread features one large image and then two smaller images – all of which are labeled. The square pages feature images of blocks, a jack-in-the-box, and a book.

GIVEAWAY: Would you like your very own copies of these two great, little board books? The nice folks at Candlewick Press are giving us five sets to giveaway to our readers. For a chance to win one of these sets, just enter your comment below and tell us what you like about board books or about your favorite board book. You have until midnight tomorrow (Friday, August 26th) at which time we’ll choose 5 random winners. Good luck and happy reading!

Sorry!  This Giveaway is now closed.

So many books, so little time.

Curling up with a good book is one of the things most moms would love to do if only we could find the time. There’s nothing like losing yourself in a good story to take you away from whatever trials and tribulations have troubled your day.

To inspire you to carve out some time for a date with a book, we’ve teamed up with the nice folks at Harper Collins to bring you a fabulous gift pack of books. This collection includes some great titles that are perfect for you and your kids. If you’re lucky, you can get the little ones engrossed in some reading of their own, and steal away to your own literary adventure.
The titles in this Harper Collins gift pack include:

For you:
HarperTeen’s paperback repackaging of Jane Eyre, Pride & Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility (These are for teens, but we think moms will like them, too – and they make you look so smart!)
Summer in the City: A Carrie Diaries Novel by Candace Bushnell (Fresh off the presses and ready for beach reading!)
The Gathering by Kelley Armstrong (The latest from a #1 NYT bestseller.)

For the kids:
Falling Up by Shel Silverstein (You can’t go wrong with Shel – kids everywhere love him.)
Splat the Cat by Rob Scotton (The first in the NYT bestselling series.)
Splish, Splash, Splat! by Rob Scotton (The latest in the Splat series – coming out mid-May)
Fancy Nancy Poet Extraordinaire (It’s fantabulous!)
Hooray for Amanda and her Alligator by Mo Willems (From the creator of the Pigeon series, a new comic masterpiece.)

Giveaway: If you’d like to claim this bookish treasure for yourself (and your kids), just leave a comment below telling us something you love about books – your favorite kids’ book, grown-up book, reading memory … whatever. You’ve got until midnight tonight to give it a shot. Good luck!

Image Credit (statue at Wilson Hall, Monmouth University, West Long Branch, NJ): Sister72

Congrats to our three winners!

Ashley Hibbard, Dessylen Arnold, and Rebecca Roque Meyers each won a copy of Food for Thoughtful Parenting by Nina Coslov and Tara Keppler.

Thanks to everyone who shared their thoughts about Mommy Speed Bumps and how to get past them. Even if you didn’t win, we hope you’ll check out a copy of Food for Thoughtful Parenting – it’s a lot of fun and offers some great advice in bite-sized portions that even the busiest mom can fit into her day.

Here’s to a smooth ride on the highway of motherhood … or, at least, to friends making the journey slightly less bumpy with support and laughter.

All the best!

The Fans of Being a Mom Team

First let me say how humbled I am by the questions. More than that, I am proud of everyone. When we ask for help, we empower ourselves to make a positive change.

I grouped the questions together by type, so each response applies to dozens of questioners. Even though our circumstances are unique, the underlying issues we face are common. Most of us are disappointed with ourselves – our anger, our impatience and our feelings of imbalance. We feel out of control and anxious about the future – about how our children will survive and thrive.

I hope readers find a glimmer of hope and encouragement in the answers that follow. If what I say is not quite enough, please contact me personally through my website  at www.karenmaezenmiller.com and give me a second chance to help. I will do my best. Thank you for your patience and kindness.

Q: How do you keep your cool in the face of outright defiance? How do you deal with the drama and stresses without losing it? How do you keep a zen-like attitude? Where do I find patience?

A: All of us lose our cool. What matters is that we find it again. I can’t pretend to keep my cool in the face of defiance, even though I’d like to. The job of children is to defy their parents. Kids are always stretching boundaries for themselves and for us. It’s how they grow, face consequences, learn responsibility and become independent. It’s also how we grow as parents. Our children resist us because they must, and in a way, it’s a sign of how much they trust us.

What helps me most is to step away – literally. I try to go into another room, take a comfortable seat, catch my breath and slow down. There is a chair in my room I call my “quiet chair.” When I come back I can speak my mind without losing it. I can say, rather than scream, “I’m upset right now. I don’t like what is happening right now. I need you to change what you are doing right now. I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m tired. My head is about to explode.” My family always appreciates when I warn them about how I am feeling rather than suppress it until I erupt in rage. It’s like a weather report: they can adjust before the storm catches them off guard.

When I lose it, I can always apologize (even when it’s not my fault!) That’s the fastest way to bring the temperature down. Then we all start over. The truth is, we all want to find a way to get along, and working with myself is the fastest way to change the situation.

Q: How do I deal with my own nit-pickiness? I am a control freak and a perfectionist. I want the best for my daughter but I also want her to do her best.

A: This is a constant question for me. First of all, we’re all control freaks. We just have different ways we try to exert control. Sometimes we try to control things around us by what we do; sometimes we try to control things by what we don’t do. Give yourself credit. You have recognized that your expectations and fears may be at the root of the problem. When we act out of fear or guilt our decisions are not well-made.

From time to time I realize that everything I say to my family is a command, such as “Go do such and such!” or a correction, “You did it wrong,” or a second-guess, “Did you remember to do such and so?” Once I hear myself, I realize how I must sound to them! No wonder they tune me out!

We all want our children to do their best. We have to trust that we are all, always, doing our best, and remember that what encourages us all is positive reinforcement. Not false praise, but recognition. The other day I said to one of my daughter’s friends, “You’re a great kid.” My daughter turned to me accusingly. “You never tell me I’m a great kid!”

She was right. I’m too busy trying to turn her into a great kid to realize she already is one. Tell your daughter she’s a great kid, and give yourself a break. You’re a great mom too.

Q:  How do I restore balance in my life?

A: The nature of balance is imbalance. Let’s all accept that it’s impossible to keep from tilting out of balance! The point is not that we tilt, but that we find our way back to center, moment after moment. This is the essence of faith.

Keep reminding yourself what your priorities are. In our hearts, we know what they are. In our daily lives, we keep forgetting. When I actively choose my work – even my housework! – over time with my children or husband, I have to be honest with myself. We have choices to make every moment of the day. When we are mindfully aware of the choice we are making, there is no need to feel guilty. We all have work to do, and when it’s time to work, work. When we get lost in our worries and preoccupations, wasting our time, then we need to correct ourselves.

The wonderful thing about children is that they need us far less than we think they do. Although our children may be in our constant company, they need our undistracted attention for one hour a day. This is an hour when we are not on the phone, on the computer, cleaning up, giving orders, getting angry, etc. That might sound impossible, but if we don’t have an hour a day to spend with our children talking, playing, and paying attention, then we have a problem we have to face.

I use a kitchen timer to keep track of time so I can devote my attention to my priorities single-mindedly without distracting myself. That even goes for “floor time” playing with my daughter (when she was little.)

Attention is the most important thing we can give our children. Attention is love, and what we pay attention to thrives. Just keep asking yourself, “What am I paying attention to right now?” You’ll find your balance again and again.

Q: I struggle with past mistakes and worry that my daughter will hate me. How can we make sure our children grow up knowing they are loved and full of worth?

A: We cannot change the past, but we can change the future. The best way to repair the past is to apologize, even if there was no way to have done anything differently. To do this, we have to stop obsessing about past events, stop casting blame and simply say, “I’m sorry.” It’s the fastest way to let go. The best way to change the future is to say, “I love you,” even if we can’t see the outcome of our love right away. These two things are the most that we can do, so we must do them, and forgive ourselves for everything else.

Q: How do I deal with my frustrations with my husband? I feel like I’m doing more than my fair share at home.

A: I’m sure you are doing more. You are doing things your way, and he is doing things his way. This is true in all relationships. The purpose of a relationship is to teach us how to get along with people who don’t do things our way! (I hate that part.) I understand your resentment, fatigue and worry. I have those feelings every day. You can continue doing things the same way, realizing that even though they exhaust you they also give you a sense of order and fulfillment; and you can also practice giving others more time and space to pick up the slack. It always helps me to give myself some time off: an evening with girlfriends, or even by myself, so I can have fun, relax and refresh myself. My husband can have some daddy time. Then we can all start over with renewed appreciation for one another.

Q: Some days are good but some days are very bad. I need help keeping my head in the right place. Pointers and advice, please.

A: Here are 5 simple things I practice every day:

1. Ask for help. Ask for help from others – your children, your partner, your friends, your neighbors, your church – and pray. Prayer works.
2. Create a place for peace and quiet for yourself. Noise elevates stress. Although at first they will complain if you turn off the TV and all electronics, your children will benefit from an hour or two without them. Their nerves are fried too.
3. Breathe. When we are stressed we forget to breathe, especially to exhale. The breath is the body’s own calming device. When you focus on your breath it quiets the craziness in your head.
4. Pay attention to what is in front of you. If problems seem insurmountable, focusing on the one simple thing in front of you will keep you steady and unafraid. This may be something as simple as washing the dishes or sorting the laundry.
5. Let yourself go to sleep. Rest is a miracle cure, and things always look different in the morning.

About Karen Maezen Miller (from her Web site): I call myself an errant wife, delinquent mother, reluctant dog walker, expert laundress and stationmaster of the full catastrophe. I’m also a Zen Buddhist priest and teacher, or sensei, at the Hazy Moon Zen Center in Los Angeles. Don’t let that last part confuse you. I’m not the kind of priest you have pictured in your mind. I’m the kind of priest that looks a lot like you do, doing the same kinds of things you do, every day.

If every Tuesday afternoon you wheeled your garbage cans out to the curb and saw your next-door neighbor doing the very same thing, your neighbor would be me.

The book was Momma Zen – walking the crooked path of motherhood, and it’s one I still turn to for comfort and guidance. In September, my mom and I attended a one-day retreat with the author, Karen Maezen Miller. It was a perfect day – spent with my mom, seventy or so other women, Karen, and her friend and guest, Katrina Kenison, author of The Gift of an Ordinary Day. We spent six wonderfully connected and open hours learning about ourselves and each other. Karen shared her experiences with Zen Buddhism and talked about her latest book, Hand Wash Cold – care instructions for an ordinary life.

To give you a sense of the kind of a-has Karen’s books deliver, here are two of my favorite lessons from her retreat:
Lose Expectations
I suppose it’s very basic Zen, but learning to let go of my expectations has had a huge and positive impact on my happiness. I never realized how I was constantly setting myself up for disappointment simply by expecting things to go this way or that. And we all know how infrequently things go as planned when kids are in the mix! Enjoying things as they are instead of measuring them against the way you think they “should” be makes you a happier, more relaxed mom.

Motherhood Takes Practice
This one hit me over the head. In order to be good at something, you have to practice. This is common knowledge, and yet – as moms – we’re expected to know everything right out of the gate. How crazy is that? We put an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves to do it “right” without ever having the benefit of so much as a day’s practice. Cut yourself some slack. You’re mom, but you’re not perfect. You’re going to mess up, but that’s okay. It’s all part of practicing the fine art of motherhood.

What would you like to ask Karen?
I’m so pleased to be able to invite you, our Fans of Being a Mom readers, to join me in a blog Q&A with Karen. She has graciously and enthusiastically offered to answer some of your questions about kids, motherhood, and life in general. Anything is fair game. What leaves you feeling a little less than Zen about your day-to-day experience? What mystery of motherhood would you like unraveled?

No question is too simple, too complex, or too far out. The beauty of what Karen does lies in her ability to get to the heart of things with an elegant simplicity that leaves you saying, “Oh … I get it!” It’s a wonderful feeling that stays with you even when the kids start throwing macaroni and cheese to see if it’ll stick to the ceiling.

TO ASK A QUESTION, just leave a comment below. Karen will answer as many as she has time for and we’ll post her responses on the blog next week.

Karen will also be giving away one signed copy of each of her books. If you’d like to be entered into the RANDOM DRAWING, say so in your comment and let us know which book you’d prefer. EDITOR’S NOTE (Sunday, Oct 31st at noon EST): Thanks to everyone who commented and requested to be entered into the book drawing. Entries will be closed at midnight EST tonight (Happy Halloween!), and we will select winners Monday morning.

EDITOR’s NOTE (Monday, Nov 8th): Our winners have been chosen & have accepted their prizes. Karen will be shipping a copy of Momma Zen off to Maryland and a copy of Hand Wash Cold up to Saskatoon, Canada. Congrats to both winners!

Thanks & here’s to being happy, Zen Mommas one and all!

About Karen MaezenMiller (from her Web site): I call myself an errant wife, delinquent mother, reluctant dog walker, expert laundress and stationmaster of the full catastrophe. I’m also a Zen Buddhist priest and teacher, or sensei, at the Hazy Moon Zen Center in Los Angeles. Don’t let that last part confuse you. I’m not the kind of priest you have pictured in your mind. I’m the kind of priest that looks a lot like you do, doing the same kinds of things you do, every day.

If every Tuesday afternoon you wheeled your garbage cans out to the curb and saw your next-door neighbor doing the very same thing, your neighbor would be me.

Image Credit: John A. Ryan

In addition to the original series of six books, Martha also stars in the critically acclaimed PBS KIDS series, Martha Speaks. More than just a guilt-free way to keep the kids entertained for a half hour, the show is a rare win-win for moms and kids. Packed full of entertaining, educational goodness, each episode includes two stories designed to teach kids up to twenty “50-cent” vocabulary words. Characters provide definitions, usually organized around a central theme, within the context of the story. The result is fun and effortless learning that complements rather than disrupts the action.

Although the “learning goal” of Martha Speaks is to increase oral vocabulary, an important element of developing good reading skills, the show delivers much more. Martha provides kids with a wonderful role model, whom creator Susan Meddaugh once described (for The Bark magazine) as “Confident, honest, loving …” In addition, the show teaches about responsible pet ownership, a topic close to the author’s heart. And, of course, the characters and stories are genuinely entertaining. I’ve yet to meet the child who wouldn’t be fascinated by the idea of talking dog. The humorous adventures of Martha and her family often lure me to join my daughter on the couch in the morning.

The team here at FoBaM is thrilled to be collaborating with the Martha Speaks team at WGBH and Susan Meddaugh to bring you some inside scoop about Martha Speaks. Starting on President’s Day (February 15th), PBS KIDS will premiere a week of new episodes including a two-part special in which Martha helps the newly inaugurated President of the United States find a perfect pooch for the White House.

Martha Speaks | A Puppy for the President | PBS

If your kids aren’t already fans of Martha, this is the perfect opportunity to introduce them to the world’s smartest (not to mention cutest!) talking dog. While you’re waiting, visit the parents and teachers site on PBS to learn more about Martha, her creator, and the importance of strong vocabulary for long-term learning.

Coming Soon: Stay tuned for an exclusive interview with Susan Meddaugh and a Martha giveaway!