I will never forget the day! April 7, 2008 when I got a phone call that my daughter was at the hospital 4 hours away! I had just left her in Gainesville with my dad for her Spring Break vacation the day before. This was my mother’s birthday (whom passed away when I was 18, just 7 days exactly to the day of her birthday on April 14th) so this was already a hard day for me to begin with. Come to find out, my father had accidently ran her over with the lawn mower while he was mowing the lawn. We were 4 hours South down in West Palm Beach where we lived. My children were supposed to be on a fun spring break vacation with my dad that I was trying to mend an already broken relationship with, and my step-mother had just died of cancer. We wanted to lift my father’s spirits with a visit from his grandchildren. What a nightmare that turned out to be. Anyway, as we were jumping in the car to drive all the way to Gainsville which was a 4 hour drive, I spoke to the doctor who informed me that he was going to have to remove my daughter’s leg and that he would need my consent and there was no time to wait for me to get there. It had to be done now! I was horrified! Scared beyond any fear I’ve ever known as a human being much less a mother. They had her on morphine and they let me talk to her. She sounded very happy despite the curcumstances but she didn’t understand what had happened to her. She utterly had no idea as neither did I yet. I don’t know if I truely understand now coming up on 3 years later. All I know is that my baby had her foot cut almost completely off by a lawn mower and I was not there to comfort her then she had to go into surgery in which I was not there for either. It was probably a good thing that I was trapped in a car instead of at that hospital with all the waiting but I didn’t think about that as I was feeling the guilt of my childs perdicament and playing the “why” and “what if” game with myself. We got to the hospital just as they had placed her in an ICU room and she hadn’t fully awoken from the surgery. Her leg (or what was left of it) was completely wrapped by an ace bandage with a tube coming out of the bottom to drain the wound. I don’t ever remember feeling so much emotional pain at that very moment. I can’t even tell this story without tears. She spent almost 1 month in the hospital and had 4 surgeries total. I lived at Shands Hospital with her for what seemed like the longest, loneliest, toughest month of my life. My children and husband were hours away trying to go on with their lives and keep up moral for when we got to come home. I tried to make my daughter as comfortable as possible during that time. I will never forget when I was getting her dressed and I had pulled out a “pair” of socks to put on her feet! When I picked up those socks I realized, SHE ONLY HAD 1 FOOT! I started to tear up and the lady (who’s little girl was sharing a room with my daughter and had been there longer than we had) said to me “Don’t you do it! Don’t you cry now! You be strong for her! You can’t break down yet! She needs you strong for her!” and I didn’t! As much as I wanted to, I didn’t….yet! They sent us home with a wheelchair, a walker and that’s it. This was Gainesville, we lived in West Palm! They didn’t know where to refer us or anything! I had to figure out what to do from this point, where to go, who to talk to and I was lost. I did break down once I got home. Slowly, I broke down and broke off from the world. I felt so depressed and alone. I’ve slowly gotten through most of that though. My daughter is 7 now and she has been a cheer leader and played 2 seasons of T-ball! She has had 3 prostetic legs so far. We drive to Miami to her fittings and it takes most of the day several times a week for 2-3 weeks every year. She has coped quite well with it but she has been diagnosed with ADHD and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She acts up in school and gets in trouble constantly. We’ve done medication and therapy. She hasn’t stopped wetting the bed. She wears her “fake leg” as that’s what she calls it, some people don’t notice it. I know it’s there and I know that my baby will never walk with both of her real feet again. She says that one day she will go to heaven and God is going to give her back her foot (now that she understands that she’s not a lizard and her foot will not grow back). She is joyful and loves the Lord God with all her heart as do my family. I am still hurt and confused as well I still feel alone. I wonder “how long does it take to get over this or will this be a constant struggle? Will she ever stop acting out? Where can I go? Who can I talk to? What can I do?