My (almost) 8 month old daughter has a huge lump under her right arm. It’s soft and fatty tissue, but the process that me and my fiancée are now going through to have it looked at just surpasses anything else in my life. I have had a series of close family members pass away and coming down with different types of cancer, but the possibility of my own daughter having something that could potentially take her away from me, is a whole other world of hurt. So far she has seen two doctors and is scheduled for an MRI in just a few short weeks. We all are hoping that it’s nothing serious but then doesn’t everyone wish that? I feel that I might have let my baby down, because she’s had a slow growing lump right there since she was about 3 months old, but we thought it was just fat that would eventually go away with time and the more active she got. It only grew. The ultrasounds they have done on this lump provides insight that there are many blood vessels that run through it. But everyday, every time I look into her eyes, see her playing, see all of the progress she is making, watching her beginning to crawl and trying to talk, standing up on her own, makes me thing that there is NO way GOD could let me have all of this happiness then just take it away in a blink of an eye. I grew up without a father, but had my grandfather step in to act like a father figure to me, then he passed away, my mother wasn’t really interested in being a mother. When my now fiancée and I found out we were pregnant, it was tumultuous at first but we grew happy to the thought, and the idea of being a real family. But everyday we spend with her, we are glad for it, She’s the reason I wake up every morning excited, because I know it’s another day that I get to be with her. During doctor visits, I don’t think about the what if’s, those only come at night or reading a post like this. Those what if’s are the enemy because they will keep you up at night and worried so much that you’re sick with it. We’ve already decided that whatever happens happens, and we’re not letting what if’s play a part. To walk in a facility where there are so many children hanging on that does have cancer was life changing our first visit. But I refuse to believe that it’s that. After reading this, I realize the strength that I have in myself as a mother to be able to walk in calmly, talk to a surgeon about a possible removal surgery for my 8 month old baby girl calmly, and then go home and still act like everything is normal for her sake, is the greatest strength that I have ever displayed. We are still asking those that pray, or those than can send loving caring thoughts our way, to please do so.