Grandmother’s Journal
Posted on May 25, 2010 by FoBaM-Jamie
This post comes from Jamie’s mum – Jan, or – as her granddaughter calls her – “Jannie.” We’re so glad she’s stopped by to share her grandmother’s perspective. It’s something most moms can learn from, if we can slow down long enough to listen. I’m always grateful when she reminds me to appreciate the everyday moments. She knows better than I how quickly they slip away.
“Grandmothers!” my granddaughter says from the backseat of the car. (It used to be more like “Grandmollers!” I miss that.) The word is a lament. There is frustration … exasperation. I have said no again—no we can’t stop at the playground, no we can’t stop at the toy store, no we can’t stop at that sandy place by the side of the road and look for Indian relics.
We are on our way home from another of our many after-work-after-school-before-bedtime adventures. “Papa?” she entreats. He is the adventure-maker; I am the enforcer. I tell her, “When I’m out with you two, it’s like being out with two three-year-olds!” Four-year-olds, five-year-olds, six-year-olds … time is going by so quickly. “It’s late,” he says, regret and resignation in his voice. “It’s nearly bedtime!”
We began these adventures when she was just a baby. Papa put his Chinese take-away on the roof of the car while he buckled his eighteen-month-old granddaughter into her car seat. You know what happened! The moment the bag flew off and splatted onto the ground, that baby burst into peals of laughter. Amazing that she figured out what had happened … more amazed that she found it so funny! As she got older, we got more adventurous: The merry-go-round with the big horses that went so fast we almost got whiplash. The walk through the glacier-formed, rock-filled forest where we found 673 fairy homes. The weekday drive—for miles and miles—to a park that was open only at weekends.
Even if it’s just a trip to the mall in midwinter for a quick supper, none of us wants the adventure to end. We want to squeeze one last element into every visit. One more giggle. One more hug. One more answer to one more question. At six, she’s turned into a professional staller. I have to reach way back to pull out all my mommy let’s-move-it-along skills. But sometimes … I just don’t want to move it along. I want to breathe in and relax and keep it all just where it is.
Jan Howarth is a mom and a grandmother, and a partner in a lifelong adventure with her husband. She’s also a writer, an editor, and an “armchair historian” always interested in where we came from and where we’re going!
Photo Credit: Harry Howarth (yep, my dad)
I was 42 the 1st time I beacame a Grandma. I thw was the best thing i could ever feel in this lifetime. My grandson Tyler was born I was the 1st one to hold him after my son and the 1st to give him his very 1st bottle. And Then Makayla in Sept. Paige came the following yr also in Sept. Then Brooklyn was was born in Dec. Being the mema to these 4 babies is the best. I would give my life for all of them. I will be getting Paige and Makayla for the summer and i cant wait. I take them every chance i can they all live about an hr. from me which i hate..lol.My mom was right when she started having grandkids that they are the greatest gift there is after being a mom. She passed away when my 2nd son was 2 and i wish she was still here w/me to see MY grandkids. Grandmas are Gods answer to moms.
@Carol – It sounds like you have your hands full in a very wonderful way. Enjoy those babies – they are lucky to have you, too.
I have 3 grandkids. Ages 4, 2, and 9 mos. They are, to say the very least, great! Yes, they are handfuls, and tire you out like your kids never did, but I’d do for them over and over again. Just to see that giant smile, those beautiful dimples and shining eyes, not to mention thier sweet voices as they ask for…..let’s say the moon- it’s like this: “Gami, can you get that moon for me?” and my answer is: “Of course baby, you wait right here, I’ll be right back!”. (LOL) an exaggeration of course, but you can really feel like that. God is good. I thank Him every night & day for all of them.
I thought “mom” of 5 was amazing which it still is as it never ends ladies it just gets better, but “Grandma” is the ultimate!!!! I have 10 natural and 3 “other realationship” all wonderful, perfect gifts to unwrap each fun time we get to play, remember reading once in the middle of “teenageville” that grandchildren were the reward for not taking your teenagers out, thought it was funny then but have found it to be truth and am soooo glad I didn’t cheat myself of all this wonder in a moment of weakness them,not to mention that that child found his way and has become an amazing man and father, Grandma is the best job ever!!!!
@Teri – Glad to know it just gets better and better.
Thanks for taking the time to comment!
I thought being a Mom was wonderful and amazing, but becoming a grandmother is even more amazing. Maybe it’s because we’re not living in the middle of the tornado known as “parenthood”. Maybe it’s because we can sit back a bit, relax, and let our children handle the day-to-day frazzle of being the parent. Whatever! Being a grandparent means having time to enjoy the little things we might have missed with our own children.
I remember looking into the face of my first grandchild and whispering “I’ve been waiting for your all my life.” I felt such an all-encompassing love for that tiny little boy…and I still do.
I remember my second grandson’s first Christmas night. He was coughing and couldn’t sleep. His mom (my daughter) had been up with him most of night. She was lying on the couch with him at about 3 AM. I took him, sat in a chair and he fell asleep on my chest. I can still the warmth of that soft little body snuggled up on me while my daughter got some much needed sleep.
My heart revolves around those little boys.
I thought I loved being a Mom (my kids are now 22, 20, & 18), that is until I had a grandbaby. She lives with me and there is NOTHING in the world better than seeing that little face when I get home from work, getting to play with her and love on her, and then…..giving her back to her Mommy when I am done. It is truly the best of both worlds. Bella is amazing and I am truly best to have my children and my grandchild around all the time. The funniest thing is that they still always want to know “What’s for dinner?”. Some things never change.
I have 2 “out of this world” grandchildren..!!! There is nothing like it….I have helped raise them both…second time around sure has it’s rewards!!
There never lived a more perfect example of a Grandma than my own. Everything she did, she did with love. Always the first to lend a helping hand when and where ever needed. Never once, did I ever hear her speak an unkind word. It’s still a vivid memory waking up every morning to the smell of homemade biscuits. She made sure my Granddaddy had hot homemade biscuits on the table 3 times a day, everyday! I think she loved being in the kitchen almost as much as she loved me. It is such a joy recalling the time we spent together there. Cooking, cleaning and sewing, laughing, crying and learning. My life was transformed and my values cemented hanging on to the strings of her apron.
Well, now it’s my turn and I have big shoes to fill. Three weeks ago I was blessed with my first Granddaughter. She captured my heart with the first sight of her; perfect in every way. The expectations of a Grandma are much different for me than they were for my Grandma. All the same, I hope to find a way to pass along the lessons learned and the unconditional love that shaped my life in such a positive way.
Addison, I can’t wait to experience the joy of making those kind of memories with you.
@Pamela – What a lovely recollection of your days with your own grandmother, and what a nice preamble to your own journey as a grandmother yourself. I hope you enjoy the time with your new granddaughter every bit as much!