Mother’s Intuition
Posted on May 18, 2010 by FoBaM-Jamie
There is no doubt in my mind that becoming a mom makes you instantly eligible for a powerful upgrade to your standard-issue women’s intuition. As women, we have “hunches,” but as moms we have “gut feelings.” We don’t just “sense” things, we know them.
Whether it’s an instantaneous and powerful reaction to a particular place, a nagging suspicion about a casual diagnosis from a pediatrician, or an out-of-the-blue knowledge that something is wrong; most moms eventually experience their sixth sense when it comes to their kids. Though it can seem like magic, I believe it’s just an extension of the incredibly strong bond between mother and child.
When my daughter was just an infant, she and I constantly woke up at the exact same time in the middle of the night. Though she was in a bedroom two rooms away, I swear she could sense me waking up. I’d lie there in the dark – silent and not moving – and she’d suddenly stir and cry. Or, perhaps it was me who sensed that she was about to wake up. Either way, we often woke in tandem.
Intuition can come in handy in the day-to-day routine – like knowing whether your child is really sick, or just ate too much ice cream; or being able to anticipate the milk falling off the counter just in time to catch it. But, I’ve heard some amazing stories. Like moms who heard their children cry from miles away and were already halfway to the schoolyard before the nurse called to say their child had fallen from the monkey bars. Or, moms who had a “bad feeling” about sending their kids on a certain outing that later turned out to involve some kind of accident.
Intuition isn’t always negative. Sometimes, your gut feelings are telling you to go ahead and try something new or take a risk. I recently took my daughter for her first trail ride on horseback. The event started out on a rocky note with my daughter being very nervous and some loose horses almost causing a stampede. Though I could have let worry take over and bailed on the excursion, I knew she’d be safe and everything would be all right. We persevered and she had a wonderfully positive first experience with horses.
What are your experiences with mother’s intuition? Do you believe? Is it part of your go-to mommy toolkit, or a random sense that shows up only when you need it? Can you tune in intentionally, or does it just happen on its own?
I said from the beginning of this pregnancy that I knew “something is wrong”. We just found out on friday our baby’s heart has some issues and the nuchal fold is measuring too thick– we may be looking at Down’s Syndrome. I prayed that this time my gut would be wrong, but so far, it never has been.
It was also right when my son started spiking a quickly-climbing fever three years ago, and doctor after doctor from different clinics, urgent cares and hospitals turned us away. After the damage had been done (107.2 degree temp = encephalitis for him, and a febrile seizure, complete with eyes rolling back into his head and vomiting), we found out he had contracted West Nile. He hasn’t been the same since.
I have also felt in my “gut” since he was 2 years old (he turns 6 in July) that he was a victim of asperger’s. I have taken him to the psychologist and switched pediatricians, and it was always blamed on our parenting (we have two other very very empathetic, caring, understanding, bright, “normal” children–how do you chaulk that up to bad parenting?). Sure enough–2 doctors 2 weeks apart this month finally saw it.
Or there was the first time before we gave our first child his first round of vaccinations. I didn’t feel right about it, but felt bullied into it. He became a completely different child after is 12 month vaccinations. Yet we kept vaccinating–even though my gut told me something wasn’t right with this idea. When my third child was going in for her 15 month vaccinations, I told my husband the night before that I do NOT feel right about doing this tomorrow. I asked the nurse questions and was yelled at for asking. My daughter had a severe reaction to the MMR vaccine that evening.
Do I believe it exists? Heck yes. And I will listen to it and believe IT above anyone or anything else. It was built into my nature, and it’s like having an inner voice that always guides me.
I believe a mother’s gut intuition is something that must always be listened to. When I found out I was pregnant with my second child after years of fertility treatments the 2 different doctors told me I would miscarry and that I should schedule a D&C. I refused because my mothers intuition told me she was just fine and needed a bit extra time. The drs gave me one last ultrasound to prove to me that there was no heartbeat. Low and behold at 8.5 weeks we had a perfectly healthy strong heartbeat in there! We even had the nurses crying! Two fertility drs told me that had never seen anything like it before. She is a miracle who would not be here if I didn’t listen to my mother’s intuition.
When my youngest was born he had symptoms of reflux. WHen he was 6 weeks old he was barely keeping with the weight change, and they kept saying it was severe reflux. I started to do research because my gut told me something was not right…the way he so forcefully vomited was NOT reflux…I had a child with reflux, something was wrong. I found out about Pyloric Stenosis. Usually diagnosed early, it is where a muscle blocks your stomach to the intestine so food has no choice but to come back out. Usually this is caught quickly…on rare chances it can slowly form the blockage over weeks or months before the child begins to starve to death. I brought this up at his 10 week appt. I was told because he was gaining some weight and not vomiting all his meals it was highly unlikely. 2 weeks later at 3 months old we rushed him to the hospital on my instinct. He had no wet diaper for the entire night. He was lethargic, and ANY food that went in SHOT across the room out. I was told he probably had a bug if he has no fever the night before…because he was acting off then…in the morning instead of following instructions on the no fever I rushed my son to Wolfsons Childrens Hosp in Jax. I was told even a few hours later and he would not be here today. He was the second worse case they had ever seen. It took TWO DAYS of fluids (no food as it had nowhere to go) to stabilize my son for surgery. If I had not followed my instinct I would not have a beautiful healthy 2 year old right now.
When my son was 1 1/2 years old, I knew he had an ear infection. The problem was, we were visiting my in-laws in a different state so I couldn’t take him to our pediatrician. Not only that, my husband, mother-in-law, and father-in-law, all told me that he didn’t have an ear infection since he didn’t have a fever and he seemed fine. Needless to say, I snuck my son in to the urgent care and the doctor told me that if I didn’t bring him in that day, my son would be screaming tomorrow because of how infected his ear was. Since then, I have always listened to my “mother’s instinct”.
I have experience “REAL” mommy intuition 3 times since I got pregnant with my son.
)
The first one was when I heard his heart beat for the first time. I looked at the Dr. and told him that he was a boy. I was absolutely certain of it. They didn’t tell us he was a boy until an ultrasound 10 weeks later.
The second was when my son was around 2. Our whole family went to a local country fair. My best friend & I were walking around looking at some of the booths while my son was way up on the hill with his grandfather looking at the animals. For some reason, I decided that I wanted to go down an aisle that we had already been down. About half way down, I looked up and there is my son walking toward me. I looked up, and his grandfather and the rest of the family were still up on the hill with the animals. It was at that point that they realized he was gone. There were at least 10 or 12 different aisles, but luckily my son & I both chose that one to go down.
The 3rd time – We had bought new living room furniture and my hubby & I were going to pick it up. We took my son to my mother’s house, left my car there, & borrowed my dad’s truck. The place that we bought the furniture was about 35 or 40 minutes from our house. As we were making our way home, I just had this really bad feeling that something was wrong. I got really quiet and even my husband asked what was bothering me. I told him that I didn’t know but he needed to hurry. When we turned on our road and neared our house, I saw my car sitting in our driveway. My heart sank. I knew then that something had happened to my son. I jumped out of the truck in the middle of the road and ran inside. My son had been bitten by a dog. It wasn’t terribly bad, but he did require 12 stitches in his shoulder.
Mother’s intuition is real!! I have no doubts. It’s God’s way of letting us take care of our children when we aren’t with them.
Wow -these are some amazing stories. Thanks so much for sharing.
@April – So glad you stuck to your guns! That must have been hard to do, but it was certainly worth it!
@Jessica – SO scary! As with so many of the other moms relating similiar stories, it’s a good thing you had the gumption to push for what you knew was right.
@Kimberly – Yep. Moms just know. We know our kids inside and out and nine ways to Sunday … no one else knows better.
@Stefanie – I’d say your MI is in full swing! Great stories. Glad no one was seriously hurt.
@KJH – I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. I hope that you’re able to listen to your gut instincts without so much interference now. Your children are lucky to have you for a mom. Take care – of them, and of yourself!
When my son was born, he was diagnosed with Tracheomalacia (soft trachea). It was a problem for his swallowing breathing and eventually speech. He was assigned to a pediatrician who specialized in nose and throat and lung issues. That ped. kept just putting me off and telling me he would grow out of it. I did everything I could to get him to try anything, but i was just psycho mom. I took him into another dr when he was 3 for a well child check when his ped was out on emergency. Within 2 hours of her seeing my son, we were on our way for a 4 hour drive and a night of sleepless sleep study. 1 week later my son had surgery. They were supposed to remove his adenoids and tonsils and stretch his trach, the dr and i talked about it right before he went back and i told him again that the reason we were removing his tonsils was not because they were swollen but because of his trachea.
The dr came out of surgery and reported that his tonsils were out and trachea stretched. but his tonsils were fine so they were left alone. I was furious!
one more week later, about 1 day after he finished his antibiotic, i knew something was wrong with him. no real fever, really lethargic and smelled like infection. I took him to the hospital, my son was asleep through the entire visit. Never cracked an eye. Dr told me had pink eye.
I signed my son out ama and took him back to his new pedi. the one who had ordered the tests. she tested his blood and found that he was in serious trouble. The infection from his surgery was less than 1 hour from consuming his body.
Just remember, these doctors are great and all, but they have what 2000 patients. when we only have one (or a couple more0 child!~ We are the ones there with them every day and know when they change that quickly! BE AN ADVOCAT FOR YOUR CHILDREN! they’re just doctors dont be scared!~!!!
ohh, and his tonsils were taken out 1 month later!!!
@Cryssi – Another case for Dr. Mom to get as much air time as the Pedi!
As a wise psycologist (sp?) told me when I was told by a famous clinic that my illness was psychosomatic, They call it “practicing” medicine for a reason.
I’d like to also mention the connection between a father and his child. While I have the intuition of waking up right before he does, knowing what’s bothering him, and the few amazing “how could she have known” moments, my son is VERY connected to his father. My husband knew that I was pregnant before I even had a clue, though I was showing no symptoms. He knew the gender, knew what I’d pick for a name, and since he was born has had that same intuition I do.
My son, on the other hand, pulls some amazing feats regarding his father. One night just floored me. My husband was at work, and baby and I were home. He was just about 2 months old. He has been a quiet baby who will whine instead of outright cry, unless something really bad is going on, and he doesn’t fuss for no reason. But one night, he woke up from a dead sleep SCREAMING. He was not in an uncomfortable position or anything. I scooped him up and checked his diaper, tried to burp him, and sang to him (which usually soothes him quickly), but for about 3 minutes straight (which is FOREVER when your child is crying and you don’t know what’s wrong), he just screamed and screamed. Suddenly, again with no change, he stopped. Completely. He went right back to sleep. About 5 seconds later, my husband called to tell me that his wedding ring had broken at work a few minutes ago, and he’d been pacing the floor for a couple minutes panicking. Looking at time relevance, our son started screaming about when the ring broke, and stopped crying right as my husband had calmed down and decided to call me. Our son has never before or since cried like that, or stopped crying and gone back to sleep. If something bugs him enough to wake him, he cries until there’s a resolution. It was so unusual, and I have decided that it can’t just be coincidence!
I also wonder… our son looks like a lot like my husband’s sister that passed away a couple years ago. I can’t help but have the thought in my mind that maybe there’s a connection to be made there.
My girls are both married adults, building lives of their own, and I’m sure they will agree that “Mother’s intuition” intruded in their lives more than once. It use to drive them crazy that I was on alert to their plans and shenanigans before they were every underway. Since my oldest daughter has recently had her first child, we were discussing intuition just recently. I shared with her the secret that most “boomer” moms would definately agree with. “When the communication between parent and child lessens, the mother’s intuition kicks in.”
@Pamela – That’s too funny. My daughter’s only 6, so I hadn’t thought much about how mom’s intuition might intrude on the lives of an older child. I’ll have to hone my skills now, so I’m ready when the teen years hit!
I agree 100%