Creating holiday magic
Posted on December 3, 2009 by FoBaM-Jamie
Tis the season to pull one over on the kids!
Whatever holiday you celebrate, the traditions probably offer you a few opportunities to tell the kind of white lies that can create magical, childhood memories.
When I was young, my parents – Dad especially – loved to play up Santa’s visit. They jingled sleigh bells outside the window, prepared hand-written notes from the big man, and always made sure to eat the cookies and drink the milk. I’m not quite as adept at nurturing my daughter’s belief, but I do my best. I love acting surprised when she opens her presents on Christmas morning – exclaiming over St. Nick’s amazing ability to know exactly what she’d wished for.
My friend recently told me a very sweet story about how she and her husband fooled their two darling girls into believing they’d been to the North Pole. The four of them got “lost” on their way to buy a Christmas tree, and wound up at a favorite New England holiday destination- the Santa’s Village theme park in New Hampshire. Having been in the car for a few hours, the girls bought into the illusion hook, line, and sinker and completely believed that they had journeyed all the way to Santa’s home at the top of the world.
How did your parents perpetuate the myths of your special holiday, and how have you translated those traditions for your own children?
Image from the 1989 holiday movie, Prancer. This one’s a tear-jerker, but in the best way and stars two of my favorites – Sam Elliott and Cloris Leachman.
Here’s some good news for parents who keep the Santa story for their children: Children who’ve grown up with the Santa story in their homes eventually learn the truth, and it’s best to let them discover it on their own, according to Carl Anderson, assistant adjunct professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin.
In his psychology dissertation on how children react to the discovery that Santa isn’t real, he wrote, “They related deciding to no longer believe, or knowing the truth, as an indication that they were growing up, and they had a certain degree of pride in the fact that they were on the side of those who knew the truth.”
Although a mythical figure, Santa takes these children on perhaps their first quest to find light in the darkness. Last year, I applied Anderson’s advice to my youngest daughter’s quest. After I evaded the question several times, the 6-year-old cornered me one evening at the kitchen counter. Staring straight into my eyes she asked: “Mom, is Santa real? Do you believe in Santa?”
I took a deep breath and searched for the words my mother told me. “Well, Katie, Santa is love. He is not only in the packages that you unwrap, but in the greatest gift we give: the gift of ourselves to each other.”
I chose my words carefully, too slowly for my eager child. Impatient, she interrupted me and said, “Well, I believe in him.” She stared one second longer, emphasizing her point. I smiled, gazed back and conceded, “I believe in him, too.” She hopped down and ran from the room.
Several years ago when my daughter was 3, she would not part with her Pali (pacifier). We tried everything, to no avail. We decided Christmas was “the time”. We explained to her that she was growing up and what a wonderful gift back to Santa that year would be to leave her Pali on the cookie plate so Rudolph could bring it to the baby reindeer. The babies would have the Pali to keep them secure while training for the long journey on Christmas Eve. The thank you note Santa wrote also had a scribbled note from Rudolph thanking her for the Pali too! Worked like a charm and she never whined about not having her Pali again!
@Maria – What a lovely story. Thanks for sharing. My daughter will be six in January and I’m afraid she may already be seeing through the illusion, but I’ll hang on as long as she does!
@Lisa – Brilliant! Nice tip for other moms. Thanks for sharing!
Lisa:
I was so touched by your story about your daughter’s Pali. I used a similar story for my daughter at about age three to leave the diapers behind and move to “big girl panites”, not that I left a dirty diaper for Santa or the Rudolph, but you get the idea. I am a firm believer in maintaining the innocence and enchantment of childhood for as long as their little hearts and spirits need it. My sister and I are surely grown adults and mothers, and we both still “believe!” in the mystery and wonder that is this season, not just in our Lord and Savior, Jesus, but also in the beloved story of Santa. God bless you and your family.
Here’s a New Year resolution: I will take charge of my kids’ digital media activities to make them into assets for development and family life.See http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=4219079. This will take an ongoing commitment, just like providing good nutrition and exercise and working on my marriage (or friendships, etc.)