Heartless Mom Trashes Kid's Art
Posted on November 3, 2009 by FoBaM-Jamie
This post is by Meredith. We bet you’ll be able to relate!
I have a confession to make. In my defense, let me say that I really and truly love all of the special artwork that my kids make for me. It’s adorable when my little one empties his cubby at preschool pick up, or my older kids dump out their backpacks and proudly present their something special – flowers, rainbows, stick figures, comic strips – you name it. I always shower them with hugs and kisses and get a kick out of how excited they are about what they’ve made … even if it’s paper saturated by black marker (my 4 year-old’s favorite medium). But, I sometimes secretly throw it out. It sounds terrible, doesn’t it?
I’m not really heartless. Some things immediately make it to the kitchen corkboard to be showcased for all to see. Some get hung in their playroom. Much ends up stuck on the walls of their bedrooms. But, let’s be real, there’s a lot of art passing through this house and it’s usually on the back of a Chinese take-out menu or recycled office letterhead. It doesn’t all have the same appeal, right? I can’t keep everything, can I? The Louvre in Paris doesn’t have the wall space to display all this stuff, much less my own home. What’s a mother to do?
On the occasions when they totally bust me jamming the wadded stuff to the bottom of the recycle bin, I play dumb and apologize for not realizing that the ripped paper with a boatload of glue that no longer holds what was originally stuck to it was something “important.” Then, I feel really guilty.
I assuage my guilt by carefully organizing the highlights from years of achievements in portfolio-sized files tucked away in the attic. I’ve kept the first self-portraits, family pictures and written names. After each school year I go through their stuff and choose a smattering of the best to save for future walks down memory lane. I’ve become the family’s art historian.
Still, when all that other stuff makes it to the “circular file,” I feel like it’s my dirty little secret. Most of the time, I pitch it under the cover of darkness, long after they’ve gone to bed, tucking it way into the trash bag and bringing the bag out to the garage immediately, lest they see a hint of their masterpiece when they clear their plates for dinner or through the translucence of the bag on garbage day. Their disappointment, if and when I am caught, is too great.
So there, I’ve said it. I’ve unburdened myself. Whew.
How about you? Are you guilty of thinning your child’s collection under the cover of darkness? How do you manage the avalanche of artwork at your house?
I do throw my son’s artwork away but I take photo’s of it before hand and or I have him take photo’s of it and that way I can always look back at his artwork I have a folder on my computer that say’s Caleb’s work of Art, Ethan’s work of Art and soon when Reece is big enough he’ll have one too.. my kids do have a show off place Ethan has a board in his room and it displays his artwork for about a month and once we have new art we take the photo’s of the old art and then trash the old and in with the new.. the kids like to take photos and know I can’t keep it all and they are ok with it.. and they like having there folder of there art work my 5yr old always goes to his and looks at his old artwork and is happy I still have memories of him doing it!
I actually had this problem lately. My son is four years old and bring home cut up pieces of paper etc. Well he brought home a necklace for mommy. I absolutely love it because he knows my favorite color is green so the biggest bead is awesome and green. Well he is now wanting me to wear it everyday and yesterday I made the mistake of hanging it on the rearview mirror in our older car. After careful consideration of words I told him that although mommy loves your necklace I want everyone to see it so how about we leave in right here with mommy’s other special things in the car. I could see him thinking about it long and hard and little to my surprise he says,”Mommy it wasn’t a necklace for your neck. Its for the cars neck.” I laugh histerically it brought me to tears but now the Necklace on the red string is hung on the “cars neck” til another one comes home.
I am totally guilty of the same thing, and I have been caught placing it into the “circular file.” It’s funny because I usually reacted the same way by saying I didn’t realize what it was that I was throwing away. My kids are now 10 and 6, and I have just started telling them that there is no way that I can keep every piece of art they make. If some are just really special and they want me to keep it,I have a certain place that it goes until I file it away in their box of memories. I think we’ll be ok as long as we shower our children love and praise over their beautiful works of art.
I am totally guilty as well! I wait until they are sleeping and have a “special” trash bin……located under the shredder. My oldest son would be crushed if he ever knew. I may be more heartless than you! LOL
Yes, I have two little ones and there is no way to keep it all… I feel horrible though…
I have seven children, ages 4 to 15. I have the same dilemma. There simply isn’t enough space to keep every single piece of art work they bring home. So I have to pick and chose which ones to keep and which ones get secretly put in the trash. I too feel so much guilt though. They put so much work into it and are incredibly proud!!! I think us moms would keep every single thing our little ones made if we could.
Oh man, now I feel better. I thought I was the only “heartless” mom in the whole wide world :0).
Loved it!
Myrna
Yep. I do it. My mom saved everything–I do mean everything–and when they started downsizing recently, she started trying to give it back to me. I don’t remember what I drew when I was 5 and it has no meaning to me. When she saw me chunk some of my son’s stuff from school she said, “Oh, you’re one of THOSE kinds of moms.” Yes, I am. I get rid of toys they played with, clothes that they were super cute in, and some of the mounds of artwork. It helps keep the chaos down in our house and THAT is much more important to me.
My daughter is barely two so this isn’t much of an issue yet but I plan to get a file box for her and keep everything she makes in that box. When it gets too full, I plan to make a scrap book from what I can in the box. We’ll see how this plan goes! I have her few scribbles up on the fridge with her name and date on them for now
I do throw out alot but I have been keeping some from each “stage” of their growing. Like the first time a person looked like a person, first shapes, etc. To get the most out of my kids artwork I scan some into my computer and make notecards out of it to send quick cards to family and friends. That way we get to share their masterpieces with others too.
What a great idea! I too have been guilty of throwing away art work. I started saving my son’s art work in a special folder, however, it is bursting at the seams. I love the idea of taking picutres of the art work and having your children place their art in the recyle bin as well as scanning it to use are cards.
Thanks everyone
I keep some of it. Mainly the ones with pictures of them or the hand prints, or foot prints. But I can not keep everything. Especially the piece of paper that has one mark one. I just wish the daycare teachers would chunk it them selves and save me the guilt.
I love this. I’m a 1st grade teacher, and I just know I send home WAY too much stuff for the parents to keep everything. My little one is only 5 months old now, but I’m sure I’ll be doing the same thing one day
I guess I really am heartless! I feel no guilt whatsoever. =P I save some of them, I take pictures of some of them, I trash the majority of them without a second thought. If I get caught, depending on what it is, how old it is, and which child it is I will either say, “Why don’t you draw me another one?” or pull it back out and hand it to them, knowing full well it will get thrown away later that night, or the next day, at some point when they are not looking. I think I’ve just been too flooded with random scribbles and desensitized by too much whining.
I hung three (per child) 10×13 picture mats on the walleach with a clip. The children get to decide what goes in the frame and what goes in the trash. Then I don’t have the guilt, and they get to feel grown up cuz they are making a very important decision on their own.
I am so mean I throw the art work away in front of my child! Well……..Ok…….I explained to her that the massive amounts of paper are a fire hazard, mommy gets tired of picking them up, and we may eventually find a mouse in the piles of art work she makes. So we made a deal! She gets to keep SOME of it, the stuff she really feels she worked hardest on and did her best on. She loves to color so occasionally I will pick out one magnificent piece of art work and frame it for her room. It’s cut back a ton!
Ugh. This is just another area where we moms spend time questioning ourselves. My eldest child is 10 and I have totes! full of art and special things but it is impossible to keep it ALL. When she was younger, I saved from each stage and then mailed pieces with notes, Christmas cards, etc. to family and friends who, surprisingly, really enjoyed it (only those kidless ones, of course). Now, my 2-yr old has started dabbling and again I am faced with the same. It is good to know there are other “heartless” mommas out there, too!! (:
I save too much of the art work , but sometimes i just have to let it go when in a cleaning frenzy . I love all that they do and had learned how to to it and get it on paper . Just guilty of saving most of it ..
I have a big felt strip across the top two feet of the girls bedroom. When they bring something home, I take a photo, slap a small square of instantly sticky velcro and hang it up. They know that to put something up, we have to take something else down and recycle it, but that we can look at it whenever we want in pictures. They usually decide what comes down. No guilt!
I do the same thing. My daughter is 6 and she loves to draw….that’s all she does on some days. I wait until she’s in bed or outside playing to throw it away, but I do make sure that I post some up on the fridge. I will take down old ones and put up new ones weekly and I have a whole wall in my office at work just for her art. Everyone loves it and she loves that it is displayed.
My son just recently gave me a picture specifically for me. So, of course I can not throw that one away. I put the date and a little note about the picture on the back of the drawing. So that it is something to remember. I have a folder for “special art work” and the others get thrown out.
I have a 4 yr old and 5 yr old and I keep “everything”…I went to the store and got a big rubbermaid tub and I wrote their names on it and that is where all art work goes…then hopefully one day I will seperate it and hand it down to them for memories if they want, but I am a Memory book fanatic so I also put some of it in their baby books to look at later!!
My daughter is only 2, but she brings home a piece of art almost every single day. Usually they are scribbles, but I can’t bring myself to throw them away!!! I date the back of them and put them in her memory box. I am sure someday I will go back through that and throw some of it out, but for now her things are saved. But there were some really great ideas here about how to save things and how to involve your kids in that decision!!!
I am so glad to hear I am not the only mom out there that throws those special drawings out with one mark on the paper. I have told my son that we don’t have room to save everything so he helps me choose which ones to keep. I am also going to try the idea of taking pictures of the art work before we throw it out and also using some to send letters to family and loved ones. Thanks for sharing all the ideas.
I scan and download it to a kids art web site. I use the special pieces to put on calendars, coffee cups, and t-shirts for family and friends. Artsonia.com is a good one. After family members view the art online so many times, the kids get an artist certificate for published or many viewings artist.
I have TONS of stuff that my kids have done over the years. I go through, like you, at the end of the year and choose a view pieces to save (after they all have made their way through the fridge, then a file, then a box, and so on). My daughter, now 11, made her last materpiece for her teacher. I wonder if she caught on that I wasn’t “keeping” everything.
I was thinking that a good idea would be to take pieces of each thing, make a collage of all the misc. scrapes and frame it – and it could be something they help with – even choosing what goes and what doesn’t. mmmm……
I do NOT throw away anthing, and I thank god I have not, I always kept every little thing my son made even the smallest mark on, He passed away right after his 4th birthday this past Jan. I am so happy I always kept it all, those are the things I treasure with ALL my heart now. even if I have boxes of it, I’ll never get a new one. So NO I never threw away anything AT ALL and I am now thankful for that!
I am sooo guilty! I have 3 girls and they are always bringing stuff home.
I let them tell me what the good ones are and i tell them we can’t keep all of it.
I can’t do it. I’ve been rotating them off the wall and into an artwork shelf in the pantry. My mom kept all my artwork so I’m keeping my kid’s (four of-em) masterpieces too. Mr. Mom
I took pictures of my kid’s artwork too. I actually made one of his best into some real art…a canvas print. I found this place http://www.canvaspeople.com that gives you your first 8×10 for free (you pay like $15 for shipping, still a good deal) and it’ll stay in tact way longer