What Moms Want Most
Posted on October 6, 2009 by FoBaM-Jamie
Stop right there. I’m not talking about the things we all want – healthy kids, world peace, a cure for the common cold – I’m talking about what you want for YOU. I’m talking about the things that would make you happier, healthier, and nicer to be around. I’m talking about both the bare necessities (like sleep … remember sleep?) and the “just because” items (like new shoes, roses from your guy, or maybe two solid hours of silence).
As moms, we spend our days (and nights!) caring for others. We take care of the cooking, cleaning, car pooling, homework helping, dog walking, PTA attending, check book balancing (sometimes), grocery shopping, errand running, interior decorating, party hostessing, professional working, boo-boo kissing, fight mediating, encouraging, teaching, coercing, threatening, bribing, entertaining, and – of course – 24/7 loving. Although most of us wouldn’t trade our happy chaos for any other life, we are human. We’re allowed, like anyone else, to daydream wistfully about the things we once had or hope to have. Just because you’re in charge of taking care of everyone else’s needs doesn’t mean you don’t have some of your own.
Well, here’s your chance to speak up. We want to know what moms want most. Is it simply a night of uninterrupted sleep, an audience-free visit to the loo, or will you aim higher and go for something like a Caribbean cruise (sans kiddlins)? The choice is entirely up to you. Check an option in the poll below, or – if none of those rings your bell – leave a comment describing your heart’s desire. Don’t be shy. We’re all friends here.
[poll id="17"]
Photo Credit: smile its shan [mia]
My other is a massage at least once a month!!!!!
Being a stay-at-home mom, what I REALLY want is some time alone in my house. Somebody take my kids somewhere for a few hours so I can do anything I want – whether it’s chores, or a shower all by myself, or nothing at all!
You said it and you have to nearly make an act of Congress to get it. We need it so we can decompress and reboot so to speak.
i dont just want new applainces, i want super duper industrail stregenth ones that make it so i only have to do laundry once a week, in one load….
Me too! Seems like laundry is about the only chore I have time for anymore!
At this point, I am a professional parent- that is, I am raising a child who is not biologically mine! And my own bio kids are bio-adults…so what I want most is mutual love and respect. I think we are getting there, I really LIKE my kids and who they are becoming!
I do nothing to be recongnized but, would love recognition. The simple your doing a great job from the right person really could give me strength!
I agree….I don’t look for recognition…but it sure would be great!!
And here all this time I thought I was the only one that felt this way in my own little hectic house, with 3 kids under the age of 6… 1, 2 and 5 to be exact…. Us as stay at home mothers deserve the world.
stat at home moms do not deserve the world. they have the world. you get to stay home with your kids and not have to worry about going out and working 8 + hours a day, then picking up your kids after they are tired and had a long day themselves, coming home and instantly starting dinner, (because it’s 5:30 and if you dont it will be 7 by the time it’s ready eat and 8 by the time you eat and clean up and then the kids have to go to bed) check homework, clean, and try to have some down time with your family before the kids have to bathe and be in bed for school the next morning. stay at home moms get the choice of working at their children’s school and taking them places and being with their kids bonding spending quality time rather then some child care person doing it. stay at home moms act like they have it so rough….how? all you have to worry about is your home and children. that’s EASY. try worrying about your home, your children, your job, your boss, your co workers, your pay check, driving to work in traffic, gas for your working tagged car, paying for child care, dropping off and picking up your child from day care, dealing with the day care itself and all who dwell in it. the list goes on and on. if you are a stay at home you deserve time to yourself as any other parent but please dont act so deserving of a pat on the back for getting to stay at home and play with your kids. the moms who get ou there and bust their butt to make and living and do everything else you’re doing deserve the pat!!! but God bless all the great moms who take great care of their children no matetr if you stay at home, work, whatever. all moms are great!
I would like to say that, the Housekeeper is definitely #1, but I REALLY want it all!
What I would like most is about $250-$350 a week job that I can do from my home! The extra cash would help me tremendously!
I would love to be a stay at home mom – or be able to work part time – I miss so much having to work. Next would be sleep – my little one has decided that sleeping all night isn’t cool.
I too would like all of the list!!
But I had to pick just one so I went with the makeover! I have had the same style hair and clothes for over 15 years on some of it!! Time for a new me 
I want an “Alice” (from the Brady Bunch). Someone who does all of the cooking, cleaning, is there to babysit at a moment’s notice. Someone who can help keep track of appointments, class schedules, etc. Just someone who is there full-time to share the daily load.
When you find one of these I would like one to please!!! *sigh* wouldn’t that be wonderful, having a few free minutes to our selves, or even just the time to take a shower and enjoy it.
I agree with Dannett. Sometimes it would be nice to be able to take a bath, read a book, or surf the web
without having my little shadow right next to me. Time alone is not always desired outside of the home.
I am a stay at home mom of 4. Ranging from 12 to 2 yrs old and then there’s the BIG kid my husband. I’m tired and it seems that no matter how much laundry and housework I do it never gets done. While I’m cleaning one room my little ones are making a mess in another. I need a live in housekeeper that doesn’t mind letting me take a nap when I’m dozing off and the 2 year old thinks it’s play time instead of nap time!
I don’t want someone to do everything for me. I actually do enjoy doing some of the things myself. BUT help once is a while would be great. Someone to do a load of laundry here and there so I could sit and watch a movie with my kids without worrying if they have clean jeans for school tomorrow would be good. Someone to help with the more stressful times. And a vacation with or without my family would be great!!
with being a single mom working and going to school i just need someone at the house to cook clean, and occasionally watch the kids. Right now there is no time in the day to do the fun stuff with them because there is always something to do. I want to be able to take him to the park or a friends house and not worry that there is a million other things that need to get done.
LOL…. as the pregnant mother of a two year old and a 7 month old I DEFENTLY thing a shower alone hits the spot. Dannet you hit that on on the head.
I would love a trip – with my kids; but most of all right now I’d love a day at a spa. I’d get a pedicure, a massage, soak in mud, whatever as long as it was quiet & relaxing.
Amanda, My husband gave me a day at the spa for my birthday last October…….it was wonderful. I started with a wonderful shower, massage, facial and pedicure. It was the best gift he could have given me.
SEX! It’s been 18 months and I really miss sex. :/
I have 2 boys and a husband, plus run a dayare out of my home. I would LOVE to have someone besides myself clean the bathrooms.
While all of the above sounds great! What I would really like is my new job to take off. I just started selling USBORNE BOOKS, and I am so excited about it, it gives me the perfect opportunity to work, AND be a Mom! Also, I agree with some of you on here, that to have someone else clean the bathrooms besides myself would be FABULOUS!!!
Terry you nailed it! I also am a SAHM who runs a home daycare. With 3 potty trainers my bathroom is always gross! It would be so nice to have a designated person to clean that bathroom!
What I would really love is a new wardrobe. Being a home daycare owner means sweat pants and hoodies for me! I am always getting dirty from the kids so it would be great to have a nice outfit to wear when I’m not with the kids! A massage is also well overdue!
Well all of the choices are welcomed, but some are really needed by the moms out here. Let this poll be a stepping stone to helping us achieve these wants…….hahahahahahahahahahahaha! I crack myself up expecting things that will never happen. But thanks for the poll.
I would love to go on a trip with my husband. I’m not much of a lone traveler but would give it a try if it was to a place that I was really excited about.
I would want a clone of my husband. That way he could stay at home with us! His clone could do the laundry, dishes and go to work in his place.
my other is someone to do laundry…….. 6 people adds up fast
I had to pick other….though I would have picked a personal trainer/gym membership, it didn’t come with someone to watch the kids so I could go. Really, I would just like a few more hours in the day to get some stuff done….as a stay at home mom to 8 month old twins and a 12 year old girl, it’s never ending around here. And the big kid (my husband) works nights, so we have to try to tiptoe around the house all day. Can we have a soundproofed bedroom, too, while we’re at it? Then we can be as loud as we want! lol
Jennifer,
My boyfriend just went to days after 2 years of nights. Nights were hell!!!!! You spend all day trying to keep the kids quiet, not to disturb daddy… I am so greatful for the day shift… Good luck!
Nothing. I signed up for being a mom and I will deal with all that it entails.
For some reason, I can NEVER keep up on laundry. I am expecting our 3rd child and I have no idea how I am going to manage MORE clothes to wash… =) I voted for a full-time housekeeper but it should also really be included “part-time” sitter!!
RESPECT. I do all of the things mentioned in the article but am told that they’re just “little things” so “what’s the big deal?” and “How long does it take to do any ONE of those things?” Even though I’m the one who adds needed items to the shopping list, signs the permission slips and washes the beach towels that magically reappear in the linen closet, those things “don’t take much time” and are therefore, unimportant. My job is unappreciated and my work is not valued. However, I keep doing it b/c I don’t want anyone to be hungry, miss the field trip or be cold and wet after swimming. I love them, ya know? I just wish they’d *recognize* that what I do counts.
I’m right there w/ you, Wendy. Being a mom is a thankless job that is only done out of love for our families. I have 3 boys & my “big” boy and they seldom tell me thank you for anything but I am trying to tune my boys in to the importance of lifting others up. My oldest is now begining to understand @ 6yrs old. I’m hoping the other 2 will follow. I’m not in this for constant recognition but a realization of some importance of what I do would be nice.
Your household sounds like mine. I do all of this and go to school at night. I even let everyone know that I would like to be appreciated, but nothing changes.. I still do everything in the house, all the shopping and calendar events, everything to do with the kids as well. Oh well, it’s at least nict to know that most stay at home moms have it the same way I do…
I would love one full day (two would be better) to be completely selfish.
I totaly agree with moms need things too. I ‘am a stay at home mom of four children. Three girls who are in school, and one two year old son who is home with me all day. The girls are involved in cheerleading and sports all year round, so that keeps me pretty busy on a day to day basis. My husband commote long distance to and from work, so by the time he gets home; all the homework, bath taking, errand running, house cleaning, and much more is done by the time he gets home; or at least it supose to be! Don’t forget kids need to be in the bed by 9:00. What would make me happy, is a new and nice wardrobe with matching shoes , purse new makeup; a complete make over. If I could maintain this pleasure forever, I would truely be a happier mom and wife…….Sometimes as moms, we lose ourselves….the things we like to do, if we are not careful, we envolve into someone else…on down the line you wonder where did that really nice, creative, couragous, spontaneous, loving, friendly, sweet, optimistic, risk taking person go? The best thing that mothers can do for themselves is to stay who you are. Just be you!!!!!!!
That is the exact thing I posted, I would love a new make over. I hope you get yours soon!
Being a stay at home mom, you never have time for yourself. So I would love to have the make over and the clothes.
I chose “other” because I would REALLY love all of the above!!! I need sleep because I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night. I would love a makeover with new clothes! I would love a personal trainer…although, I would need more time to get that accomplished. I would LOVE to take a trip somewhere with either just my husband or my sister or some friends! That would be awesome! Even just a spa day with the girls would be nice! New appliances are always great, as well as some time alone! Am I selfish or what? I want it all! LOL!
Don’t need a husband. Got one of those. What I want is simple: friends…with lots & lots of benefits.
I would love to get my hair cut more then once a year and get it highlighted and be able to keep it up. That would be the life!!
Shocked “massage” wasn’t on the list!
i want more children– as mine are growing and gradually becoming the self-sufficient people we’ve raised them to be (all 6 of them), i’d love to have more so that this wonderful period in my life could be prolonged.
What I would like is a brand new house one where something isn’t breaking down every week. Money Pit doesn’t even begin to describe the place we’re in.
I really want a weekend away with my girlfriends. Some time to just be friends and not have kids or husbands/significant others around.
I have a 5 yr old and 4 yr old and also the “big kid” and would also like a little down time …bit if I had to choose it would be someone to come in and make spring cleaning seem like no big deal b/c with a full time job 2 toddlers and a husband it sure piles up and not to mesntion the after school and work running!!!
I would love to be able to sleep in past 7AM on a weekend. I would love to have a house keeper. I would like my bed to make itself after my husband gets up. I would like my laundry to walk itself downstairs to the laundry room. I would like to be more care free. I would like to have an all girls vacation. No husband, no kids, just all my best girl pals and some tropical beach, fruity drinks and personal massage therapist. I would love for my husband to just once do all that I do in one week. I know I am wishing for something that will never happen but if it ever did I would have to have it on video because I know I would laugh so hard.
i just want a room of my own…my very own!
I would just a day a month to organize
last time i was out anywhere without the baby was when he was a month old. THAT WAS 3 YEARS AGO!!! a girls night out would be great… i’m not talking to go out anywhere but to just hang out and not have to worry about a babysitter {that’s why i selected “GNO”. just hang out and maybe catch a movie (cartoons without the kids is always fun!!) after all these years, i still believe in fairy tales… a gno or other night out will never materialize…
I know this is going to sound funny to some of you but I would really love it if my boobs would be full and lifted again just like they were before I had my son 2 yrs ago. That would make me happy and of course to be skinny again. A few hours a day(I get 2 three hour days to myself now that my son started a toddler program, but I still seem to run errands during that time) to myself without having to do any housework, taking out the dog, running to the Doctor’s office, changing diapers or our other every day things that us mommies do on a day to day basis.
I want a hot young man to come clean my house in his underwear while I sit on the couch and watch! That and a much needed vacation sans kids!
I think having a full time housekeeper would open up time for the rest of the list!!
I just want my husband and kids to realize that if that kitchen floor is dirty, or that bathroom sink is covered in toothpaste they can clean it..they do not have to wait for me to do it. And if they can make riding lawn mowers why cant they make riding vacuum cleaners fair is fair ya know.
I agree 110 percent with Erin! I too have to work 8+ hours a day, and what you described is a typical day for us!
I have been on both sides. I was a stay at home mom for about ten years. I have four children ages 11, 7, 6, & 3. Last year I started a job. I see what Erin is saying..although I found that either way, stay at home or working, it is still a full time job taking care of kids and you are going non-stop regardless. I don’t see any reason to try and get in a competition about what we do as parents or over what being a mother requires of us. I just say to all mother’s who work hard to make sure their kids have a wonderful, happy, healthy life and give so much of themselves to make it happen…THANK YOU!!! wether you stay home or not, if you are a MOM, you deserve a pat on the back!!!!
I’m a working Mom too. I was able to stay home for the first 9 months, but then I had to go back to work to be able to afford Day Care so that I could go to work during the week. LOL! Now it work on Sat, Sun, and Wed. School from 9am to 730pm on Tues and Thurs. Monday and Fridays are my only day off and I usually end up having to work on Mondays. AAUUGGHH…The key is MAKING your husbands responsible. Mine has always been pretty good with giving baths, changing diapers (poopy ones too), feeding her, we tag team in the morning getting her ready for Day Care. But it wasn’t until I started to work on the weekends and he truely had her all day by himself that he realized that it was a lot harder than it seemed. I have a great husband who lets me have down time, and we have a great relationship, but that’s only due to sitting down and CLEARLY defining what NEEDS to be done and dividing it up as equal as possible. Of corse some times I do more, and sometimes he does more. But men HAVE to be MADE to take up the responsibility. Don’t sit back and wish it. Tell him how it needs to be and stick to your guns. Both of you will be happier because of it.
oops!!! I work to be able to afford Day Care so that I can go to school durring the week. LOL
I would just like my kids to respect me, I feel like I should be on the Nanny sometimes and then I watch it and say wow, its not as bad as I thought!!! but I want be able to watch my favorite TV show without saying stop that dont do that go to your room stop hurting your brother/sister dont yell at me pick up your toys…etc, and maybe for my husband to care a little when I am SICK like going through Chemo sick, not a cut on the finger sick, men seem to think you need to be a superwoman made of steal, even if you are a stay home mom or work we arent super hero’s we do to have FEELINGS and need to be recognized from time to time!!! We love are family’s so much and would do anything and everything for them, but mom needs a chance to not feel so ordinary and walked all over for just a moment would help more than ya think!!! Yes stay home mothers dont have to do 8 hrs at the job…and yad yada yada, its a 24 hour no babysitter 365 dyas a year!!! but if you ask those mothers that work most of them would rather work than deal with three screaming kids all day!!!
I would love a girls weekend. No babies, no boyfreinds, just the ladies, some drinks and lots of games and laughs
Seriously! You hit the nail on the head. If I could have a full-time Housekeeper, my life would be…wow, i’m speechless…
I want more than one of the choices given. I’d love a full makeover (including wardrobe), a housekeeper and some time alone — not a lot of time, just some time of quiet.
I went through all that, even as a single Mom for 5 years. Worked , sometimes 2 and 3 jobs. Boy , it was hard. Now they are grown up, left home, and some of the babies of the babies of those babies have babies of their own. Know what ? I wouldn’t trade any of those memories for a combo in Rio. It was my life, and it was good. Could have done with a bit more sleep and a lot more money, but so be it. Who remembers all the trivial stuff, anyhow ? We were and still are a family, and for better or worse, we made it .
I agree with Erin and Joleine, Stay at home moms do not deserve the world. You have the world. You get to be home all day with your kids, spend quality time and have fun with them. I spend on average 3 hours a night with my kids. My kids recently lost their daddy and so I am truly on my own. I am up at 6 everyday, get my self ready, take care of the dogs, get kids up at 7, fix breakfast, maybe throw a load of laundry in before work, head out the door at 7:45 daily. I take my lunch at 3:30 so that I can pick my children up, only to go back to work at 4:30. I am home by 5:15, franticly racing to fix supper, get showers done, check homework, read to my 5 year old, help study spelling words, put my 5 year old to bed at 8, and my older 2 at 9:30. Finally at 10 I get to sit down. I never usually make it to bed before midnight. So you see all you stay at home moms, us working moms are jealous. I would give anything to stay home. I miss my kids so much during the day and summer is even worse. They are home all day by themselves, enjoying their friends, yet still doing chores of course, but I miss so much time with them and I hate it. I just need to win the lottery….PROBLEM SOLVED!!!!
I would like 2 poo alone.
A riding vacuum cleaner!!! Brilliant Brenda!! I’d get one…how much fun would THAT be!!!!! I’d like mine to be a motorcyle style please…..pink..with racing flames…..and an IPOD audio jack….hmmm….and a wine glass holder……