After “I love you,” the words my daughter hears from me most frequently are, “be careful!”

Yes, I am Cautious Mom. I worry about tripping, stubbing, falling, twisting, slicing, scraping, poking, and every other type of physical mishap you can think of. I am constantly telling my daughter to slow down, get off that, and stop jumping. Unfortunately for me, there’s little chance she’ll cooperate. No matter how many times I scold her for doing somersaults off the couch or using the roof of my SUV as a clubhouse, my little monkey is going to keep right on climbing, swinging, and running.

With such a preoccupation with safety, it might seem out of character for me to encourage my daughter to participate in what most people would consider “extreme” sports, but I do. In the winter she skis (already better than me, I might add), and this summer she has gotten more involved in indoor rock climbing and trapeze.

Yes, that’s right. I said, “trapeze.”

We’re fortunate to live near a TSNY (Trapeze School of New York) school where anyone can experience what it feels like to “fly through the air with the greatest of ease,” or at least fly through the air with your heart in your throat wondering what the hell possessed you to do this in the first place.

My daughter was intrigued with the trapeze the first time she saw it. She’s one of those kids who tries to make playground swings go all the way around. Although she was initially a bit awkward, and still hesitates when it comes to flips and knee hangs, she clearly loves the sensation and jumps off the platform with no external evidence of fear. The first time she did it, I expected to be the mom who stands on the ground, wringing her hands and holding her breath.  Instead, I found myself standing on tiptoe and cheering out loud.

I was surprised, too.

But, there was something so beautiful about seeing her launch herself into the air – so strong and brave and capable. As she leapt off the platform, I felt my own heart leap out with her – soaring to even greater heights than the trapeze could take her. All the possibilities of her future seemed physically tangible in that moment, suspended in the air beside her as she swung back and forth, her little legs pumping, a huge grin on her face.

As mothers, we have a built-in impulse to protect our children from harm, but we also have a responsibility to give them opportunities to learn about personal strength, perseverance, patience, and confidence.  Sometimes, we have to expose them to a little danger – even just perceived danger – so they can get a taste of what it feels like to push themselves. That’s the only way they will discover how far they can go. The first time my daughter topped the indoor rock wall, her amazement at her own ability nearly brought tears to my eyes. The first time she successfully executed a backwards-flip dismount on the trapeze, I literally jumped up and down.

Teaching our children to fly is one of the best parts of being a parent. As they stretch their wings and launch into the unknown, we get to soar alongside them. Sometimes we lead; sometimes we follow. Always, we revel in watching the world open up to our kids as they discover that they really can do anything.

What are your stories about helping your children discover how amazing they are?

Photo Credit: Harry Howarth