When Motherhood Becomes Sisterhood
Posted on September 24, 2009 by FoBaM-Jamie
No woman is an island … even when she desperately wants to be. Like it or not, when you become a mom, you are automatically inducted into a global sisterhood that spans time as well as space. “Mom” is a universal and eternal entity; so when you join this group, you are truly becoming part of something larger than yourself.
On a more intimate level, motherhood gives us a second chance at creating special friendships with other women. I have always regretted losing touch with my high school and college girlfriends. Life seemed to move so fast, and we were all going in different directions … it was too easy to let the lines of communication go dead. But, when I had my daughter, I was suddenly plunged into a whole new community. Overnight, I found myself meeting other new moms with new babies. Because we were all in a constant state of dull panic (mostly brought on by inexperience and sleep deprivation), we bonded immediately. It was indescribably comforting to know that other moms were facing the same challenges – head on, with that deer-in-headlights expression on their haggard faces.
We’d like to thank each and every mom who commented on yesterday’s post about sharing advice. I was thrilled to see comments like the one from Chrissy Wise who said “Reading what other moms have to say gives me encouragement. It’s always nice to know how other moms feel.” Or Manda who said, “Well I must say I read a quote right here on Fans of Being a Mom that has really stuck with me … ‘To all Moms, though the days are long.., the years are short!!’” Stephanie said, “I heard another mom comment this morning that you don’t know a milestone has passed until it’s happened.” What great wisdom. We’re so proud that you’re sharing it here on FOBAM.
What’s your experience when it comes to the sisterhood of motherhood?
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Photo Credit - This Year’s Love
I’m still looking for some special girlfriends (19%, 9 Votes)
I have forged new friendships and I have some old ones too. But I believe that God puts the right people in my life at just the right times. I have made a new friend in the past year or so, that I have known and gone to church with for several years. But just within the past couple of years really formed a bonding friendship with. Our children are getting older and I think we really hold each other up. We Pray for one another as well as our families. There are some similarities in our children and then there are those vast differences. It is in the differences that I think we grow the most. But I will say that it is nice to have other women to talk to when your kids are not doing there best. What is nice is having them know what you are feeling because theirs have maybe gone through that already. I am always Blessed to know that I am not alone and that my child is not the monster they may seem to be at the time. I mean that in the most loving of ways:-) But one would have to admit that we often feel defeated and wonder what went wrong when our kids start acting up in big ways. It is always good to know other kids are doing some of the same things too. So having other moms with kids in similur age brackets can be such a Blessing. Just having someone to listen can often be the most valuable asset a mom can have.
I have found that being a Mom makes you so much stronger then the average woman. You open your heart to other Mothers and their day to day problems, blessings, and whatever they are going through. A Mom has strengths that can surpass any man. Moms are the blessings of the world
I agree one hundred percent. Without mothers around, many of the beauties of every day life would not exist.
Luckily for me, my best friend got pregnant two months after me, so we were able to remain close and share stories and still have similar interests, even though things had changed so much from high school to adult life. The one good thing about getting older is that your friends get older with you, and more often than not, eventually have children as well, so you always still have some common ground. I treasure my old friendships, as well as my new ones.
I still want that special mommy friend that is just like me, working, raising her kid, and trying to still enjoy time to herself once in awhile. I have friends, and quite a few of them are good friends, I say. But I still have not met one that shares the same challenges as me. Some one who will understand me. Mostly all my mommy friends are stay at home, and they have not the financial worries that I do, or if they do, they do not let it on…. My single friends just do not have a clue about motherhood, its an unfamiliar path to them. I am highly satisfied with motherhood, I just want to share my experiences with someone who will understand them.
The second Poll Question Needs a 4th option…d) All of the Above. In today’s hurried world I communicate in “All of the Above” depending on the friend. Some friends are facebookers, some love their e-mail, some still like to chat on the phone, many are starting to text and what is better than a girls’ night out?
Tiffany, You hit it on the head by saying…”They are not letting me in on their financial worries.” I’d be willing to bet every penny I have that every mom has a financial worry, be it an at home mother or at work mom. We share more similiarities than you might think. At home moms are constantly reminded when they look around that they no longer financially add to the family funds. If you’re a new mom…it might take a little longer to find the friend that “gets” you. That friend is out there, but she’s probably so busy with her own kids right now -she hasn’t had a minute to find you. Hang in there!
I have found the sisterhood.
I have a sister and I always thought we were close. Not until we both became mothers did I understand the strength and drive, I always knew she had, was so much stronger than I could ever imagine. She amazes me every day with all she accomplishes and makes it look so easy while doing it with great hair and a super clean house.
I met Amy shortly before I gave birth to my son. Her son is a few months older than mine. Since my sister lives across the country from me I was so glad to have her by my side learning the ways of motherhood together. I learned from her and she learned from me. We are a team and bounce things off of each other all the time. We have date night together at least a few times a week and talk about kids, work, life and everything in between. Our husbands are envious of the friendship we share. Little do they know that it all is glued together with a pinch of woman and a whole bunch of motherhood.
I enrolled my little monkey in daycare at 16 months. He had been with my mother-in-law up until then while I was at work. I never imagined the connection I would have with other mothers and teachers all because we all share this magical journey of motherhood together. It really is a bond like no other. The looks of ” I have been there sister” and ” Here, let me help you with that.” It goes a long way to know we are in this together even without saying a word. You all know what I mean. The mommy look.
Amy’s sister Becky just had her first baby. A beautiful baby girl. Amy and I smothered her with gifts and our no longer needed glider chairs, wipe warmers, diaper pails and all kinds of stuff. I gave her all of my maternity clothes and some baby stuff. She said to me. ” Wow, I feel like I just joined this new girls club. You moms really stick together.”
She is about to learn how hard it is, how little sleep you get but the best part is we have a new member to the club. We get to watch her experience all the firsts. First laugh, first bath and all that good stuff.
I always knew women were connected by some magical string. I just never knew how much it deepened when you become a mother. The cement that binds us is all about one thing. Being a mother. Biological, adopted, inseminated, fostered, IVF and any and every which way a child comes into a woman’s life. So many ways of entering the club of motherhood. Some say we become mothers the moment our eyes meet, our hands touch, our hearts love. I think even before we ever meet, touch, smell, love that the power of “mother” happens. Some are born with it. Some learn it. Some get it along the way. Some find out they had it all along. Some never get it.
Now I get the big picture. I see the road for what it is. I see how being a mother makes you apart of something bigger than anything I could have ever imagined. I am glad to be in the club. Thanks mom, my sister Kerry, Amy, Becky and all my mom friends, family teachers and all the other mothers out there. Thank you for the sisterhood.
friends are like anything else in this world… some stay and some go still the memory of friends is always there. when you are younger, life is carefree but have a child and you wish you can share everything with the world. my best friend is no longer here but she is always in my thoughts. what you realize is that your family is the one’s who will never leave and offer you the best advise. why not? they had the same Mom as me. and we all know Mother knows best!! some of the old-time rituals and “folk lore” still comes in handy for the most part.
My younger sister and I are 10 years apart. We never had anything in common. Until we both got pregnant. We now call each other up when we have problem with our little one being sick. Or we would call each other up about he or she walking and talking, climbing, laughing, he’s potty train, she dancing. It’s amazing what happens when you become a parent. And the great thing is most of my friend and other family got pregnant at the same time, too. We didn’t plan it. When we all get together we will talk about the kids. What silly things they are doing. We will sit there with a smile on our face so excited about our little ones accomplishments they did. It’s wonderful feeling to have all these moms as friends and families member around.
I am still trying to find some friends in my area to get to know me and my munchkins. We have lived in Spokane, Wa. for over a year now and still don’t know many ladies around here. It is my own fault though since I don’t get out much. My oldest daughter is in afternoon kindergarten this year and it creates a bit of a time crunch. I have tried to meet people through sites like facebook and myspace but mostly I get friend requests from oober creepy men looking for who knows what?? lol.
I remain hopeful that someone will come along. That is why I love this site so much. I get to share with other moms who face the same obsticles that I do and hear all of their great stories. So if there are any moms in my area.., Give me a shout. I would love to hear from you.
The above comment makes me ever more grateful for the lucky spot in which I landed: like-minded moms building playgrounds together, dancing later ’til dawn..
Wish I lived near Spokane…