Through a Mother’s Eyes

Posted on March 2, 2011 by FoBaM-Jamie

A woman sees the world differently when she becomes a mother. Things come into focus in a new way. She notices details that were invisible before she had a child to consider. She can suddenly distinguish clearly between what is important and what is merely pressing. She watches the events of the world with a new perspective that encompasses her child’s future as much if not more than her own. She begins to comprehend the deeply connected nature of the world in a way that is both enlightening and a little bit scary.
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When a woman becomes a mother, she ceases to live life as an individual. Though she is still her own person, with her own passions, pastimes, and pursuits, a mother’s life is inextricably woven with her child’s. Her every move is predicated on the fact that she is somebody’s mother:  where she will live, whether she will work, where she will work, who she associates with, how she spends her free time…if she gets any. Every choice is made not for one, but for two – mother and child.
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The most amazing thing is how quickly we adapt to this new way of life, this new way of seeing the world. For most of us, we transition without a thought. The act of losing our own ego comes naturally. We are happy to put the needs of our children first. We discover a new patience that makes it possible to put our own desires on hold – at least for a little while.
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There are moments, of course, when we long for the unfettered “B.K.” (before kids) existence. In a perfect world, we find a balance that lets us be the mothers we want to be while still fulfilling personal dreams. We find ways to share our lives with our children so that they learn to know us both as mother and friend.
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Last week, my beau and I went away to Quebec for a few days. It was only the second time I’d traveled for longer than a day or two without my daughter. She was with her dad enjoying Mario marathons on her Wii. My beau and I had a magical time. We stayed in a beautiful chateau, visited the ice hotel, shopped in dozens of charming galleries, and even drove a dog sled team. It was such a gift to have the time to ourselves, but I have to admit that my daughter was always on my mind. Everything I saw and did, I wanted to share with her. I experienced the whole trip through the eyes of a mother. I can’t count how many times I thought or said, “She’d love this”!  I wanted her to hear the French language, see the European architecture, and taste the authentic Quebec cuisine. I wanted her to marvel at the impressive structure and design of the ice hotel – rambling like a kid in a giant snow fort.  Most of all, I wanted my little animal lover to share the experience of riding in a dog sled across snowy fields of Ile díOrleans.
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We will bring her there someday, and share those moments with her. For now, though, I’m grateful that I got to see the world through the eyes of a mother. My sense of wonder was heightened because I am someone’s mother. I saw more because I was looking not only for myself, but for my daughter. I appreciated more because my mother’s perspective helped me take in the beauty, the fun, the history, and the humanity of it all.
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A mother does see the world in a unique way, and how lucky we are that we do.
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Image Credit: Juan E De Cristofaro

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