Coats, and Hats, and Mittens – Oh My!
Posted on February 8, 2011 by FoBaM-Jamie
Every morning, my daughter and I have the same argument. As we stand in the hall, getting ready to head out for the bus, we square off over the issue of winter clothes. Each morning, I tell her to put on her scarf, hat, mittens, and winter coat. Each morning, she tries to negotiate her way out of wearing her full winter getup by trying to convince me that 10 degrees Fahrenheit is absolutely balmy and she absolutely shouldn’t have to wear her winter coat … a spring fleece will suit her just fine.
And don’t even get me started on the battle of the boots.
My daughter has two pairs of winter boots: a pair of rather pricey, approved-to-30-below-zero snow boots (I splurged), and a pair of faux Uggs that I bought on impulse at Target. Although they are crumpled, scuffed, and sporting a series of white salt rings that reach from the sole halfway up the boot, my daughter routinely opts for the faux Uggs. Not only that, but she then clumps outside and proceeds to start mushing through the forty inches of snow – soaking the boots through before the bus has even arrived.
I vaguely recall putting up a fuss about wearing all my winter gear when I was a kid, but I’m pretty sure my mom ultimately won all those battles. I got her back, later in life, when I took to running around my college campus in the dead of winter wearing ballet flats (without socks, thank you very much) and a wool blazer instead of my snow parka. What was I thinking?!?!? Now, as someone’s mother, I’m an expert at bundling my daughter and myself to within an inch of complete loss of mobility.
To hear my daughter tell it, she is always “boiling hot” and “sweating to death.” She thinks I am cold-blooded. I think she’s missing most of her nerve endings. Whatever the case, this is – I fear – a battle that will continue on a daily basis until that blessed day when I open up the door and it is, in fact, warm enough to go with the fashion fleece instead of the parka. This is just one more reason that I am looking forward to the arrival of spring. That, and the fact that if we have one more snow day around here, I’m going to put out a hit on Jack Frost. But that’s a story for another day …
Do your kids battle with you about wearing their winter garb? Do you have any tips to avoid these debates? What’s your kid’s biggest complaint about getting dressed for the cold temps?
Image Credit: From A Christmas Story, the movie (1983)
One of the things I love most about being a mom is finding the ways to be on the same side as my kids- life is too short to spend it fighting!
We can trust that our children will notice when they are cold/hot/uncomfortable, and when we listen to them and respect their ideas and help them test them out we are helping them learn about themselves and the world and their place in it, and isn’t that our endeavor as moms?
So grab the garb you think they might want when they get too cold, wet, whatever, and bring it along. Consider that they are doing a science experiment and help them with it. How else can they learn to trust their own senses and instincts? Layer on, layer off as conditions warrant. With our help from an early age, kids learn how to figure this stuff out for their selves; and when we have proven ourselves trustworthy they are likely to take our advice into consideration.
I’m all for not fighting with my children because life is in fact too short. But when you have a 3 year old who doesn’t know what’s best for her it’s your job as a parent to protect her. Especially in Wisconsin weather which is today a balmy -25 with the wind chill. On days like today I try not to go anywhere at all because a bored child is better than a frostbitten child. I also have an almost 1 year old child who doesn’t need to get sick either. I’m also the kind of parent who drives around on days like today; after going to the gym, and sees the kids up to teenagers with no coat, hat mittens etc. and wonder where their parents are and why they’re not protecting their children. Yes children need to learn about their world and their place in it, but not at the expense of losing digits or ears to frostbite.
It’s a hard call and there are a bunch of factors.
First, you need the child to be safe from frostbite or excessive chilling. Second, you want them to be comfortable for the whole day. These two can seem like conflicting problems without layering, but then third, you need them to be able to keep track of the unworn garments so you don’t need to keep replacing things. Fourth, and we all hate to admit that it’s part of the equation, we want other people to approve of our judgement. It’s not just about the neighbors shaking their heads and clucking, but the ever present fear that somebody will open their big mouth and call CPS. It seems ridiculous to think that somebody would call over something as small as not wearing full blizzard gear, but I’ve heard of more ridiculous reasons to be reported. This is especially problematic when they’re going to school where the staff are all mandated reporters.
I usually try to come to some sort of balance by sitting and talking to the kids. We usually compromise if I explain why I’m concerned and they come up with something that they think will meet my needs. It may not be what I’d chosen and it may look ridiculous to me, but if they’re able to think of a solution, I try hard to respect their need for independent choices.
My kids are especially fortunate in that their school (http://www.sudburyschool.com) has unusually flexible rules on dress. If the weather is especially cold, there will be warnings posted on the door letting the kids know what the minimum required clothes are. But when the weather is warmer, the kids are trusted to listen to their bodies and choose accordingly. The only problem I’ve discovered with this system is that the lost and found ends up full of their clothing, but then I just go a few times a year to take their things home. Not a big deal.